tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362160741546688469.post7908190758018604531..comments2024-03-14T06:38:46.929-05:00Comments on Unabashedly Me: Crossing the line?Micahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02820001783545167859noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362160741546688469.post-66015544030819261162015-11-15T20:27:20.540-06:002015-11-15T20:27:20.540-06:00I experienced sexual harassment at my summer camp,...I experienced sexual harassment at my summer camp, of all places, a few summers ago. There's a group of National Guard soldiers who volunteer at camp and bring a really cool challenge course. After I'd done the course, I remarked that the fireman's pole at the end was really hard for me because I didn't like heights. One of the younger soldiers said, "I would've thought the pole would be your favorite part." It made me very, very uncomfortable. I couldn't think of anything to say except, "That's a really inappropriate thing to say to a woman you don't know well." I ended up telling the camp director (my former coworker from when I was a staff member) how uncomfortable it made me and he went with me to speak to the officer in charge of the soldiers. I don't think that soldier was asked to return to camp.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14444558246969200094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362160741546688469.post-11107117704923422152015-11-13T15:29:38.243-06:002015-11-13T15:29:38.243-06:00I think you did the right thing. You ignored them ...I think you did the right thing. You ignored them but still told your manager. I think that's what I would have done - or I potentially would have actually said "thats highly inappropriate" - you definitely shouldn't have to hear that OR put up with it. I think in those situations you just try to go with your gut. Ugh. Those dudes - not cool and not okay. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03803025599977107281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362160741546688469.post-75624997707318142282015-11-13T13:20:11.959-06:002015-11-13T13:20:11.959-06:00I definitely would have reacted the same as you! I...I definitely would have reacted the same as you! I think in that moment, right when it's happening, it's hard to know what to do. The shock of it happening is still there and you're still thinking "did that just happen?" I also think it's easy to just shrug it off because of where you were. <br /><br />I also think it's a tricky situation. I think it's good to say something so dudes like that get that stuff like that is NOT OK. But I also know that a situation like that can get really ugly really fast. So I think I'd do a little of both. I might let one comment slide and then let my manager know about the issue. Not so he can run over, but just so he's aware that it's happening and can help keep an eye on things. I also think if they had continued I would have told them to stop in some sort of way.<br /><br />Definitely don't worry about how you reacted though. It's such a rough, tricky situation. And I am so sorry you had to deal with it!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12438438649309384330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362160741546688469.post-87331113859326727642015-11-12T23:24:12.239-06:002015-11-12T23:24:12.239-06:00Honestly, my first thought when I read what you sa...Honestly, my first thought when I read what you said was "that's what she said." I also tend to have the maturity of a 12 year old boy. <br /><br />That being said, I get what you are saying. I know you don't generally want to make a scene at work but generally, I find that these things are better if you say something in the moment. Don't get me wrong, they are dicks are shouldn't be saying that shit to you but if you go to your manager to "deal" with them, that sends the message that you aren't going to stand up for yourself. I'm not saying don't tell your manager as a follow up, but you would be much better off telling them yourself to stop. And it doesn't have to be anything clever or even rude. Living in a college town with a plethora or drunken idiot frat boys have steeled me against unwanted and awkward innuendo. I know it's different when you are at work and trying not to offend customers but as your manager seems to have made clear, you are well within your rights to not have to put up with that kind of crap. <br /><br />My favorite response is, "does that ever work?" which the response is usually some form of "you tell me." "Nope." Bye Felicia. Marianne Kugahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11521959160432703139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362160741546688469.post-39431728385014529772015-11-12T21:52:16.659-06:002015-11-12T21:52:16.659-06:00hi. Dissenting here. They absolutely intended to m...hi. Dissenting here. They absolutely intended to make you uncomfortable. They were customers, you work there. Therefore they were in the position of power. Furthermore, you offered an informed opinion on something traditionally considered "men's," which is beer. So they wanted to put your in your place and remind you that they are men and they are in charge. <br /><br />I am so glad that the taproom manager had your back. Because if it had gone further than that, at least you had backup. What if you were working late, what if there weren't many other staff there, etc. It's good to know that management has a zero tolerance policy for this behavior. <br /><br />I personally would call for management because then you're not the bad guy - they are. And it sends a message that they can't come back and pull something like this with one of your coworkers, or try to escalate it past one rude comment. <br /><br />That said, I can understand wanting to handle it on your own, or at least try to. What I have taught myself to do (over years of practice...it's not easy) in an office setting is to pretend I don't understand. "I'm sorry - I don't get the joke?" and then put it on them to explain it to you. "I'm sorry - is that funny? I don't get it, can you explain it to me?" It takes a very awful person to do that, and usually it makes it backfire on them. This also works really well for racist or anti-Semitic comments. <br /><br />clrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09441659381401800532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362160741546688469.post-19830190611151699262015-11-12T17:35:22.790-06:002015-11-12T17:35:22.790-06:00I have to say that I do think your reaction was no...I have to say that I do think your reaction was normal. I'm sure that these men truly didn't mean any harm, some people (both male & female) don't have a good sense of decorum. They talk to everyone, even total strangers, as if they are best buddies. If these guys had made the comment in a group of friends, it would have been funny. Seeing as how they didn't know you, it's a tad creepy. But it is good to know that it is taken seriously there, and now you know what needs to be done in the future!Becky Doughertyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11137408537369933534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362160741546688469.post-45947825698697292972015-11-12T14:26:55.099-06:002015-11-12T14:26:55.099-06:00Oh god... I would have done the same thing as you....Oh god... I would have done the same thing as you. I'm sure I would have been uncomfortable but I wouldn't have raised alarm bells. I mean, they weren't getting physical or anything. But we often forget that it can still be mental... ugh god. That sucks. :( It suck to think that it's something we just sweep under the rug and label as "expected" or "normal".Knowing Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07381880389495348479noreply@blogger.com