Thoughts on shame and vulnerability

The other day at work, I attended a discussion group program for an organization I belong to. I intended to stay only long enough to get a few photos for our web site, but as I began listening to the discussion introduction, I decided to stay longer. The small group of women listened to a TED Talk given by Brene Brown entitled, "Listening to Shame." If you have about 20 minutes, it's totally worth it.

I've heard of TED Talks, and I've heard of Brene Brown. But I'll be honest in saying I haven't done too much diving into either one. But that might be changing.

In the video above, Brene talked a lot about society's perception of vulnerability. Mostly that it's seen as weakness. But, really, being vulnerable is courageous. It takes strength to be completely honest and open yourself up to rejection and ridicule. The most poignant thing she said about vulnerability is this -- "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change." So true. If we want to make progress, find new solutions, or create change, we have to be open to failure and falling short. We can't be afraid of speaking up or trying something new because we might be bad at it.

She also shared the Roosevelt quote about the man in the arena:

In a time when I feel like we, as a society, are on the brink of either change or destruction (maybe a bit of both), we need to be vulnerable. We need to address shame. We need to be real and honest if we're going to find any sort of peace among us again.

Her words about shame also hit home for me. Men and women have different experiences with shame, but they feel it the same. Women feel shame if they can't do it all and do it perfectly. Men feel shame if they are perceived as weak in any moment. That sums up so much about the issues we currently have in our society.

Shame and vulnerability are the keys to change. Until we embrace them and address them, we won't get anywhere. 

I'm not sure any of the above thoughts make sense. They're mostly my ramblings after listening to the TED talk. I just wanted to get them out somewhere. Again, I highly recommend watching that video. And I'm definitely going to be checking out more of Brene Brown's talks and writings.