Friday, September 24, 2010

Friday Fiver: You couldn't pay me enough...

I was stumped on an idea for a Friday Fiver today.  Fortunately, I have some smart friends with great ideas.  Beans suggested this one -- five jobs I could never do.  It's a good one to write out too, since I had a downer day at work (reader complaints really break my heart). 

I have worked a lot of different jobs in my lifetime.  As a teenager, I watched kids, detassled corn, worked in a retail clothing store, waited tables on the graveyard shift, worked in a small grocery store and served food in a fast food drive thru.  The only two things they have in common are -- they provided an income and they convinced me to get a college degree.  Some of them were ok, and some were pretty horrible.  But I was willing to try a lot of things to earn a little cash.  Below are five things I could never do to earn a living.

1.  Garbage collector

I'm sure they have a more politically correct name now (refuse engineer?), but I know for sure I could never be a garbage woman.  I'm not even coerced when I look at the city salaries and see that they make more than I do.  Nope.  I could not stand handling other people's garbage day in and day out.  I fear the smell would never leave my nostrils.

2.  Police officer/firefighter/paramedic

I'm lumping all of these into one category because they are all first responders.  They are the first ones on the scene of some horrific events, and for the most part their jobs are thankless.  I read the police reports weekly, so I know what our police deal with.  I am friends with some firefighters and paramedics, so I hear some of their work stories.  But I know even that information is only a fragment of what they face every single day.  I could not handle it.  I know this.  I'm thankful there are people who can.

3.  Dental hygenist/assistant

I have no interest in looking in other people's mouths, let alone take a magnified look.  And there's no way I'm sticking my fingers in there.  I wonder how often the typical hygenist/assistant is bitten.  On second thought, I don't need to know the exact figures, the odds are enough to keep me away.

4.  Animal control

I don't have the mental fortitude to deal with cats and dogs who have been neglected, abused or abandoned.  And I certainly couldn't be the person driving them to be euthanized or assisting in this process.  My heart just couldn't take it. I'd want to take all of them home, and then you'd see me on "Hoarders."

5.  Plumber

In this field, you are literally dealing with other people's s**t.  I do enough of that on a figurative basis, I don't need it to be a tangible duty. 

What would be on your list?

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