Sunday, January 16, 2011

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

Note:  I'm revamping and reintroducing this post (which was formerly on my private, for VIPs only blog) after a conversation I had with a friend last night.  Enjoy!

I have accepted the fact that I am not a "love at first sight" or even "lust at first sight" girl. I'm actually happy that I'm more of a "to know her is to love her" girl. The qualities I have to offer someone may not be readily apparent, but they are much longer lasting. That said, niceness and a love of sports don't exactly bring all the boys to the yard (and neither does my milkshake). A guy doesn't see me in the bar and think, "Wow, I would love to watch her score a baseball game." That just doesn't happen. I don't honestly know what guys think when they see me in the bar (which is rare anyway), but I know they definitely don't approach me. Or at least, they rarely do.

When I was in college, there was one guy who approached me repeatedly in bars and other events on campus. He was a decent-looking guy, even if he was barely my height and defintely weighed less than I did. (I eventually found out he was an All American wrestler in one of the lower weight classes.) If his advances had seemed sincere, I might have gone on a date with him, but over the course of four years, this guy only approached me when he was completely wasted. In fact, when I had to interview him for a newspaper article (and I'm assuming he was sober because it was 10 a.m.), he couldn't get away from me quickly enough.

Earlier this year, a similar event happened. I was sitting in Legends, enjoying a post-concert drink with a friend and two guys wandered in. One seemed more sober than the other, who within seconds was asking me for a kiss on the cheek. He might have been cute if he'd been able to stand up. And I might have given him my number if he'd asked for it before he crossed my personal space boundaries.
Sorry if that makes me a bitch. I like the dark-eyed boy next door, not the half-closed-eyed boy with the beer stains down the front of his shirt. And I like a guy with quiet confidence, not the guy climbing into my lap or molesting me on the dance floor.

So what is it about me that only attracts the drunk guys? Ironically, during most of these events, I have been completely sober, which only made the guys more annoying. Some of my friends have insisted it's probably just a lowering of inhibitions. I'd like to think that, but I'm not completely convinced it's not a lowering of standards. Maybe guys only find me attractive when they're viewing me through beer goggles. If that's true, I suppose I need to go with it. Except I'll find the one guy I want, get him drunk and then use it to my advantage. I'll let you know how that works out.

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