Wednesday, October 23, 2013

When good deeds and bold moves go unrewarded

I like to think of myself as a nice person.

I help people out when and where I can.  I offer compliments regularly -- to friends and strangers alike.  I surprise people with goodies or gifts for no reason at all.   Really and truly, I'm a nice girl.

It seems not all people appreciate that.

The other day, I helped myself to some coffee from our team's coffeemaker at work.  I noticed the supply was getting a little low.  When I went to the grocery store that evening, my favorite coffee was on sale, so I bought two canisters -- one for home and one for the office.  I proudly walked my contribution over to my manager's desk only to have him say, "I don't like that kind. It's too dark. I won't drink it."  I was completely deflated, and I told him that I'll just take it home and that I don't want to hear him complain about how he's the only one who buys coffee for the office.  I returned to my desk and pretended to brush it off, but hours later, I'm still feeling a bit of a sting. 

My friend, Alison, shared this after reading my FB update.

I can also be timid about making bold moves.

Particularly when it comes to guys.  Years and years of rejection have made me more than a little scared about chatting up that cute guy -- online or or in person.  I'm always certain he's going to wonder how quickly he can get rid of me and then run off to tell his friends about the lame/ugly/loser girl who tried to flirt with him.

Stepping out of my comfort zone is scary and sometimes disappointing.

For months, an online dating site I use has been pushing a certain profile in my face.  It's the profile of a guy from my past.  A guy I once had more than a little crush on.  Turns out he's also single and living in the same city.  We also have a lot of stuff in common.  I debated for a long time but finally sent him a message late last week.  I was pretty sure he wasn't going to reply.  I was surprised when he did.  He was friendly, but his reply was pretty much a brush-off.  To sum it up -- "Good to hear from you, but ... I have no interest in getting together."  Lame.

I think this sums up my feelings.


I'm not going to stop doing good deeds or taking chances, but I'm definitely going to be a lot more selective about who I decide is worth the effort.


  1. Well, first I have to say that your tweet to me from the picture I posted made my day and definitely made me smile so THANK YOU for that. I can, of course, relate to this post all two well in BOTH aspects. Especially, though, the doing something nice for someone only for them to reject it/push it away/just not care. It deflates and defeats me every.single.time. It got me thinking when I saw your FB post last night actually. I just HATE when that happens. I'm sorry that both guys weren't receptive- it really does sting! At least with the coffee now you'll be set on good coffee for a while ;) Love that meme too! I agree with it 100%! I hope you have a great day, Micah!

  2. ugh bummer to both stories. guys can be so....daft? i wouldn't let it get to you.

  3. I'm sure it's hard to take chances when you don't get a good result. But good for you for taking a risk! I'm not much of a risk taker myself, but I did with Donny, and it worked out. It only takes one time in a bunch for it to be worth it. :)

  4. Ugh one of my bosses is the same way. Nothing makes him happy. Who can't just say "thanks for the coffee"?!
    As for the guy, now you can say you were brave and took a chance - growing as a person. And that's good!

  5. I've remedied this in the past by just being selective about who I'll put myself out there with. I can't believe your manager said that...I would've shed a tear or two :/

  6. Sounds like your boss is a negative Nancy. I had one of those as a boss, and one as a co-worker, and I make it my mission to be extra chipper towards them. They must be super unhappy with things in their lives, ya know? And that's not to say it doesn't sting when stuff like that happens (I popped in to say hi to one of my co-workers and bring her something after being away two weeks, I got, "oh thanks, I already have some of those at home." "Oh, well, I'll just put them in the cabinet for all of us to use! How have you been?!" "Fine." "Um, OK. I guess I'll see you later?" "Yup.") and it definitely makes me question whether I've done something wrong. But, you gotta just ignore them! You're awesome, and they're out the make everyone's lives miserable. Chin up, girl, we've all been there.

  7. Oh man, both of those situations are super disappointing. But I'm happy that's not going to stop you! Sometimes people just don't know a good person when they see one anymore.

  8. You are a great person and your good deeds WILL be rewarded someday, Micah!! Just keep doing what you do...good things will absolutely start to happen :) Ignore those jerks who brush off your good taste in coffee and who don't see how amazing you are--they obviously aren't worth your time!


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