Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Things I got when I didn't get the guy

I have lamented about my singleness a lot in this space.  It's true, I've never been in a serious relationship, but I've had my fair share of broken hearts.  Some might disagree.  They might say I don't know what real pain is unless it comes at the hands of someone with whom I'm in a serious relationship.  But I think heartbreak is heartbreak.  Period.

Most of my breaks came by way of crush rejection.  But sometimes they occurred after long periods spent with someone only to learn our feelings for each other were completely different. In some cases, I was looking to him for romance, and he only saw me as a friend.  In another case, he liked me, but couldn't let his friends know that because they wouldn't approve.  In the most painful case, he told me I just wasn't the perfect vision of the person he wanted to be with.


Yeah, I shed lots of tears over these guys.  But these situations weren't a total loss.  From several of them, I gained an appreciation for a team, a band, or a TV show that I wouldn't have before.

I never really cared much for NFL football until high school.  When I developed a crush on a guy who was a diehard Kansas City Chiefs fan.  I instantly started paying attention to their games, first just the scores and then more solid stats. I eventually started watching the games, and to this day, I'm still cheer for them.  Attending a game at Arrowhead is still on my bucket list.
This photo was taken a few weeks ago on a lazy, no-makeup Sunday.

Music is one of my favorite things.  But I'm kind of selective about checking out new artists.  Especially if they aren't in my usual genre.  I primarily listen to singer-songwriters, but a guy I was talking with thought I needed to hear this one band that had more of a pop-punk sound. He was sure I would love them.  So he sent me a We The Kings CD, and he was right.  I did love them. The CD went into regular rotation in my collection. After he tore my heart out, I stopped listening to the band for a while.  It just brought up memories of him.  But about a year ago, I gave them another listen and even though it still reminded me of him, it didn't hurt as much as it once did.  WIN.  Here's one of my all-time favorite songs by them.  It makes me swoon a little.


Somehow I missed the TV show "Sports Night" in the late 90s.  I'm not sure why.  It is right in my wheelhouse -- a comedy/drama about sports journalism.  And Josh Charles is in it (I find him adorable).  A few years ago, a guy in whom I was very emotionally invested sent the series to me for Christmas.  He completely pushed me away a few months later, and I thought about getting rid of the gift.  But I just couldn't.  Instead, I tucked it away and only recently took time to watch it.  And I adore it.  I'll definitely be re-watching the series at some point in the near future. I'm glad I kept it.


I was also exposed to rap music, NBA basketball, and soccer by various guys, but those just didn't catch on as strongly for me.

Overall though, I think I came out OK in some of these heartbreaks.

What were you exposed to by an ex that became a favorite?


  1. Mountain biking...for sure the best gift I ever got from a guy. There is always a positive spin to someone else's loss and that is what it is. Their loss. I know that sounds like a total line but when the right guy comes along, he is going to appreciate all the things about you that all those idiots took for granted. Those other guys were just foolish and stupid. They didn't know what they had or could have had in you. You are worth 10 times what they are and deserve better anyway. Trust.

  2. I didn't realize that's the same band that sings "Say Yes, Juliet." Love them! I definitely took away a lot of new to me bands/musicians. Sometimes the music reminds me of them, but not always, which is good. Also, the idea of routine. I was never really into having a steady routine, but after being in a relationship where there was constant routine, I find myself creating one for myself now. I like it much better than the more spontaneous ways I was used to.

  3. This is a really interesting topic. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you with any of those guys, and I agree with you that heartbreak is heartbreak, even if it doesn't follow a "serious" relationship.

    There are certain artists/bands I listen to that were introduced to me by guys in the past. And my current boyfriend insists he's going to convert me to hockey. I guess we'll see about that one...

  4. This is good perspective! Love this idea for a post and just in general about celebrating the positive things. And.. GO CHIEFS baby!

  5. I'm sorry to hear about so much heartbreak. I had more than my fair share before I met my now husband and it's a miracle I didn't drive him away! Anyway, I picked up an appreciation for exploring and adventure from one guy, and the ability to fix my own computer issues from another (good life skill, I suppose)... That's about it. None of the rest left any kind of mark in my life, sadly. I kind of wished they had, but it never happened that way.


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