Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Long hair and bad dating advice

My hair is currently the longest it's ever been in my life.

If I let it hang down my back, it nearly reaches my bra strap.  If I straightened it out, it would definitely reach the strap.

Naturally, I'm thinking about cutting it.  I want a change.  Feel like I need a change.

As I started looking at photos of different curly hair styles, I remembered the last time I cut my hair short several years ago.  Someone told me I'd never get a date again because men don't like short hair.

Ha.  That really didn't stop me.  And it wasn't true.  I went on more dates when my hair was short than I have with my long hair.  Seriously.  Theory debunked.

So that got me thinking about some of the other bad dating advice I've received ...

- Don't let him know how much you know about baseball. It's too intimidating.
- You should always show lots of cleavage or leg on the first date.
- If you don't sleep with him by the third date, he won't stick around.

Those are just some of the highlights.  The list is much longer, but generally focuses on the same theme -- don't be yourself or hold onto any of your standards or you'll always be single.

I thought I'd reach out to the interwebs to find out if any of my friends received poor dating advice.  I'm sharing their tales here but retracting names to protect the innocent.

Snagged from someone else's post about the same subject.

Friend A:  "My mother said, 'You better break it off with her to focus on your studies.' 'Her' is now my wife."
Friend B: "My husband's father said to my husband when he was in college, 'Son, if you want to find a girl you are going to have to lower your standards.'  Glad he didn't."

Friend C: "Tone down the sports stuff."

Friend D: "Someone told me, 'Keep your crazy under the rug until you've been together a while.' I'm not saying you should vomit neuroses on someone on your first date, but why would you want to date someone who doesn't know who you actually are? To quote a cheesy (but true) dating line - Falling for someone's flaws is just as necessary as falling for their strengths."

Friend E: "I was told I shouldn't be honest with my significant other about how I felt about his family and should instead wait until we were married."

Friend F:  "I think the worst is any advice that compares me to a dairy cow and sex to milk."

Wow.  Those are some gems.  At least I'm not the only one getting bad dating advice.

Share with me ... what's the worst relationship advice you've been given?

Also, should I cut my hair or not?  


  1. I really don't understand why people say things sometimes. None of this is helpful at all, so what's the point of saying it out loud? And I'm in the same boat with you-- my hair was SO long recently. Definitely the longest I'd had it since I was a kid. And I chopped off about six inches. I love it! Some days I miss the versatility of long hair though. So do whatever you like. :)

  2. Hahahah serious gems!! I can't think of any advice because I don't think I listened to people much (I didn't really Start dating until I was 19... Then met my soon-to-be husband at 20.) I am lucky I don't have to listen to this crap. You are beautiful short or long hair - its all in how you feel. Beauty radiates from the inside out!

  3. I haven't dated in eternity but I've received a crap ton of poor marriage advice.

  4. If you want or need a change and feel like cutting your hair, I say go for it! It's a liberating thing! I love these bad dating advice posts because unfortunately people actually do still say these kinds of things ALL THE TIME!

  5. Seriously? You'd never get a date again because of your short hair?! People are stupid. Ha! I love growing my hair out just to chop it all off! I like Friend F's comment the best. :)

  6. Definitely have gotten a lot of poor marriage advice: "If you don't go to church together on Sundays, you're not in a strong Christian marriage" (I would show up once in awhile and Scott would be out hunting lol)

  7. Haha wow some people are so crazy. I say do what you want. If you are confident, that's what will shine through :)

  8. I can't with that kind of advice. I mean, really, it comes down to, "don't be yourself." Now, why would I want to find a life partner where I couldn't be myself? I tell people all the time, if I can't be myself, I don't want to have a boyfriend or get married. I have a great life; a partner would be a great bonus, not a necessity.

  9. When I was a dating blogger, I read so many books that were supposedly filled with awesome advice to help you. They gave the WORST advice ever. All of it was geared around the same thing you mentioned -- play the part until the dude likes you. One book actually gave you a guide on how to guy proof your apartment, i.e. don't leave out self help books or "chick" books, make sure you have movies he would like so you can talk about them, make sure your fridge is full of things like apples and nuts. I have no idea why any of that was good advice. My husband and I met solely because he searched for beer on OkCupid. We got drunk on our first date and I told him I needed food or I would throw up. I don't think the rules matter at all. Your hair is beautiful long! But I think if you're feeling a change, do it!!! I love doing fun stuff with my hair and it's always fun for summer.

  10. Cut it! And this is hysterical. I cannot believe how ridiculous some people are.

  11. I hate when people give me dating advice because chances are it's going to be bad. I'm going to be genuine and real and if you don't like me well hell I am okay with that because we never would've lasted anyways. I won't try to be someone else to impress a guy because that only ends up with more hurt down the line. Someone once told me the quote "I'd rather be someone's favorite shot of whiskey than everybody's favorite cup of tea." Which I thought was fitting for me because the things I get told to hide are often my snarky, loud, outgoing (swearing) nature and that it's not lady like enough for men to like. Which is a complete loud of bull and kind of sexist too.

  12. I like what friend D said!! Dating advice is so hard, because I suck at dating and I don't feel like I can give any good advice because I just hate when people tell me "You're so nice, someone is out there waiting!! Just give it time!" or something like that. Ugh. Makes me want to be mean and maybe I'll meet someone :-P Kidding, only a little ;) Also, when I had short hair I went on more dates, too! I love your short hair now!!


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