Tuesday, February 23, 2016

See yourself

You've got to see yourself like I do
See yourself from my point of view
No one else can get through
Until you see yourself like somebody that loves you

I swear not every post this week will have a mention of Stephen Kellogg, but that song was too perfect for this subject.

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl with green eyes, barely-there eyelashes (thank goodness for mascara), full cheeks, a weak jawline (that makes me look like I have a double-chin sometimes), a small mouth, and teeth that never seem to be white enough (probably because of coffee). If I let my eyes continue down, I see shoulders that are too broad, arms that need a ton more toning, a waistline I wish was smaller, and a boring sense of fashion. Basically, I see average, unremarkable looks. I think I'm cute, but mostly forgettable.

I figured this was what everyone else sees as well until a recent conversation with a good friend. As we talked about my online dating escapades, she asked why I don't include my boudoir photos in my profile.

My response -- "Because I don't really look like that."

Have you seen my boudoir photos?

They're tasteful and beautiful, and I love how I look in them. I suppose they could be an appropriate addition to my profile.  The problem is that I don't think they represent everyday me. I'm not "that girl."

My friend's response -- "Maybe you don't see yourself that way, but I do."

She went on to describe how she's observed me during our friendship. She notices that I can be shy around new people, but once I get comfortable, I'm just fine. She said the real me really comes out when I'm discussing something about which I'm really knowledgeable. She enjoys watching me talk beer or baseball because apparently I have a glow and a confidence that doesn't emerge otherwise. She said, "I wish you could be that girl all the time because more people need to see her."

I still haven't added boudoir photos to my profile, but I am considering my friend's words.

I'm starting conversations with people I see often but have always been too insecure to approach.
I'm sharing my perspectives and thoughts on things, even if they aren't in my wheelhouse.
I'm trying to carry myself with the confidence my friend says emerges too infrequently.

I'm trying to be "that girl" more often.

I want to be more like the person my friend sees. More than that, I want to see myself in the way she sees me. So it's time to look in the mirror with new eyes.

Snagged from Healthy is the New Skinny

Seeing yourself through the eyes of a loved one is not easy to do, but sometimes I think it's imperative to truly gaining perspective about who we are.

In what ways do you think your loved ones see you differently than you see yourself?


  1. I think that you have a truly amazing friend! We all can get caught up in our insecurities, and it's an amazing reminder to know that we have people who love us who can see beyond them! Those boudoir photos are amazing! I'm with your friend! You should add them to your profile. Maybe you don't feel like "that girl" all the time, but she is certainly a part of you! :)

  2. I know I don't know you in person but sometimes I feel like I do and I think you are a truly gorgeous person both inside and out. Put the pics on your dating profile if you want to and don't if you don't want to, just do whatever you want to :)

  3. I love this. I love how true friends remind us how awesome we are when we really need to hear it. Also... I LOVE your boudoir photos!!!


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