Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Seeing myself through the lens of a relationship



I always thought the main thing about dating someone was getting to know them. And I still think that's true. But it's definitely not the whole truth. No one told me I would learn as much about myself as I would about my boyfriend.

In the few months I've been with Sean, there have already been a few occasions when I needed to step back and look at my tendencies and my behaviors. It's like I'm seeing myself in a new way. Here are a few things I've noticed.

/// I stress out over stupid things.
One weekend, we had plans to be somewhere, and I was running behind schedule. At least behind my schedule. I was on edge by the time I picked him up. In the end, we were still very early. And even if we'd been a little late, what and who would it have hurt? I need to figure out what matters and what doesn't.

/// When I'm stressed, I lash out.
Related to the point above, I snapped at him a few times. More than a few times. I'm not proud of it. And I've apologized to him. My level of stress had nothing to do with him, but I took it out on him anyway. I need to be more careful about how I let out my stress.

/// I let my emotions takeover too often.
OK, so this one is definitely not new. I've always known I wear my emotions close to the surface. And I've tried to get a handle on it in the past, trying to be more logical. With Sean, I need to be better about this. If he's stressed or upset about something, I need to just listen and keep the calm. I'm no help to him if I get worked up too. Even if I'm also upset (especially if it's on his behalf), I have to hold off on reacting as such. This is not first nature for me though, so it's an ongoing project.

I have no doubt I'll continue to uncover new things about myself as time goes on. And I'll continue to make adjustments so I can be a better version of myself. Not just for him, but for my other relationships as well. And for me.



What did you learn about yourself through your relationship?




3 comments:

  1. Love the The Alchemist. Good post.

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  2. I totally agree that you learn just as much about yourself in relationships, as you do the other person. In good friendships too, I think. It's always easier for me to recognize the things that I need to work on vs. actually make the moves to make them better. We are all a work in progress I suppose! haha

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  3. These are all very good things to learn about yourself. I've learned that I tend to get these perfect visions in my head of how I want things to go and then I get very upset when they don't turn out that way.

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