Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Wedding Wednesday: Decisions, decisions

I hate making decisions. Especially big ones.

Anyone who knows me will probably back me up when I say this. It makes me nervous to make a choice. I wonder if I'm making the right one or if I should have gone with another option.

I don't think I had any idea just how many decisions were involved in the wedding planning process.

The big ones are the guy (easy choice for me, although it took me a while to find him), venue (another simple one), entertainment (cake), food (no-brainer), and wedding date (we only had a brief hiccup). You'd think that'd be enough. But no. After that, you have the colors, the attire (for you, the groom, and the wedding party), open bar vs. cash bar, kids vs. no kids in attendance, real flowers vs. fake flowers vs. no flowers, centerpieces, plated dinner or buffet, seating arrangement or free for all, invitations, save-the-dates, registry, etc. My brain hurts just listing all those things. And I know there are several I left off or that didn't occur to me.


I feel really fortunate that Sean and I agreed on most of the big details and haven't had too many lengthy discussions about the smaller ones. And our parents are all in support of what we've decided so far. I feel sorry for those who have to battle their spouse-to-be, family, or in-laws for what they want.

Still, the process has been a bit overwhelming thus far.

I think the biggest headache for me is going to be the guest list.

Our venue has a capacity of 200. That sounds like a lot until you really start listing people. And I should note that Sean comes from a big Catholic family. His dad is one of eight and his mom is one of four. As we listed out his family -- just down to first cousins and no minor children -- there were nearly 90 people. That doesn't leave much wiggle room for friends or co-workers. Now, I know not everyone will come, but I refuse to believe those who say to expect only 75 percent of your guests to show. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm just hard-pressed to believe only 150 or so of our invitees will say "yes" to our invites.

Because of this, I know I need to keep our guest list very close to 200. Right now, we have 205 listed. And there have been a lot of edits, omissions, and additions. I'm sure there will be more. I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings or make anyone feel bad if they're not invited.

I'm carefully wading through my friends list. If I haven't talked to them in almost a year, should they still be invited? Also, do I have to invite people just because I was invited to their wedding?

What about relatives I haven't seen in years? Do I have to include them just because we share some shred of DNA?

I'm also waffling on how handle co-workers. Can I invite only a few without inviting others?

I found a few flowcharts out there and they make a lot of valid points regarding the list.

What do you think? Any advice on handling the guest list stress?


  1. This gives me so much anxiety when I think about the future!!!! It's insane!!! I have to plan a lot of stuff at work and I just think about how I will be whenever I have to plan my own wedding someday. I also worry about people enjoying themselves and having a good's overwhelming!!

    Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes YOU happy. And if someone gives you grief for not inviting them to YOUR day, then those people should not be worth your energy. It will all work out whatever you do!! :)

  2. I think you can be friends or friendly with someone without inviting them to your wedding. I think that you have to consider that not everyone feels they "need" to go either. I'm generally not upset if I don't get an invite...I can still wish a couple well from afar!
    That being said, we invited about 160 and maybe 110 showed up?


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