Excerpts from my teenage diary - part 1

I was cleaning today and found a diary from when I was in middle school. 

Oh, the friend drama.  Everyday I was mad at someone different or someone was "not letting me talk to" so-and-so.  It's so ridiculous.  I actually wonder if this was really happening or if it was just my perception.  Of course, I tend to believe our perception is our reality, so does it really matter if it happened or not?  That's how I remember it, so that's what's in my memory.

Also, there's plenty about the boy(s) I liked.  I was no better at handling crushes back then than I am now.  But...just for laughs, I thought I'd share some excerpts from the diary.  Names have been removed to protect the former objects of my affection and some friends. 

Jan. 1, 1992
Well, I wrote letters to Rebecca and Emily today. For some reason while I'm reading this one book about a boy and a girl that fall in love and I think about the boy I like. More later, Bye!

Feb. 6, 1992
Well, I hate [name of girl]. She is such a brat. She's going with the boy I like. My closest friends are [insert really long list of names].

April 9, 1992
I'm so mad at [several girl names], They don't want to be my friends anymore. I don't know why. Now my closest friends are [girl names]. [girl name] is kind of close, but she's taking [girl name]'s side. I still like you-know-who. For some reason, I just can't get over him. [insert list of names] are so lucky. They're pretty, popular and have friends they can count on. I'm none of those things and dont' have those things. I'm so depressed!

May 14, 1992
Lauren, Brooke and I are doing a song for the lip sync contest. It's called "Radio Romance" by Tiffany. It will be cool. Guess what? [Insert list of names] are kicking me out of their group. I don't understand some people.

June 11, 1992
My softball team is undefeated! We beat South Hamilton and Ellsworth (two times). It's fun except I went out for 2nd base, but I don't get to play it. Instead, I have to play right field. I hate [girl name]. First of all, [girl name] said she was mad at [name], but they play together. And [name] doesn't let me talk to [girl name] and [girl name]. But oh well, I'm having them over on Saturday, and I won't [girl names] play with us.

Oct. 8, 1992
I think I'm in love. Or deeply in like. The boy I like is cute, nice, funny and cool. I like him a lot, and no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to get over him even if he doesn't know I'm alive.

Nov. 11, 1992
I am so mad at [girl name] because she laughed at me and humilated me in front of [one girl name, one boy name] (who I happen to like, but he likes [name of girl making fun of me]).  I'm taking the necklace back tomorrow and asking for the earring.  I try not to like [name of crush A] but somehow I can't get over him. I like another boy too, but some people think he's a nerd so I haven't told anyone.

April 1, 1993
My BFs now are [insert girl names]. We don't like [girl name] that much anymore because she's so rude. I like a new boy now. The boy I really, really, really, really, really, really like is [name of crush B]. He's so cute, nice and sweet. It's hard not to like him. I know he'll never like me though. Who would like me, I'm so ugly. He probably barely knows I'm alive. I wish I knew who he liked then at least I'd know if I had a chance.

April 11, 1993
I still really like [name of crush B]. He's so adorable, I can't stand it. I sure wish I knew if he liked me. I think he does though. I'll tell you the story. He and I have our band lessons at the same time. So he was waiting for Mr. Haarup to get done with [boy name] and I got my instrument out and was waiting with [girl name] for Mrs. DenHerder to get done with [girl name] and he jsut kept staring at me! I know because every now and then I had to look at his gorgeous face.

April 14, 1993
I plan to have someone ask [name of crush B] to go with me next week (maybe). I'm going to wait and see if he gives any signs the rest of the week. I have a lesson on Friday which means he has a lesson too. Some signs I'll look for is looking at me, staring at me, talking to me or smiling at me. Look1 I've used most of the page just writing about [name of crush B]! That just shows how much I like him.

April 18, 1993
Guest what?! [name of crush B] knows I like him! In fact everyone in his section knows! I don't know who told but someon did. This is embarassing. I went to my lesson on Fri., I forgot my flute in my locker. So I went back to get it and as I was leaving [name of crush B] was coming, so we tried to avoid each other. But I wanted to get away because I was so embarassed so I started walking much faster. Now he knows for sure that I like him. How embarassing.

April 20, 1993
You'll never believe this, but this is what happened. I was walking down the hall and [name of crush B] was coming the other way down the hall. Anyway he kept staring at me and he stared at me so long he rand into a door. My BF told me later. I was also told that during S.H. he looked at me too! I really hope he asks me to go with him. I may not be popular but that souldn't matter to him. Oh well, Maybe he'll ask me soon.

May 13, 1993
[girl name] got mad at me yesterday. She got mad because I talk about [name of crush B] too much. If only he knew that. I'm going crazy over him. [name of another girl] is right. He will cost me a lot of tears. He already has. [name of girl who is mad at me] told me why she was mad. At first I didn't cry, but I said, "Fine. If it's going to cause this much trouble, I won't like him anymore!" and I broke down crying. He's very much worth losing my BF. I [insert heart] him too much. I think I might tell [name of guy friend] to tell him that [name of friend who got mad at me] got mad at me and why.

Wow.  I was pathetic.  But this is entertaining anyway.  This might be a weekly series until I get all the way through the diary.