Sunday, November 21, 2010

30 Days of Truth -- Day 10: No easy way to say "goodbye"

Day 10 -- Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

A few friends of mine cited this quote this week --  "Some people come into our lives and quickly go.Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts and we're never, ever the same."

Ultimately, I believe all people come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes (rarely) they become lifelong friends. More often than not, they're someone whose company we enjoy for a little while, and then for one reason or another, we part ways.  Sometimes, that parting of ways is painful and not so easy.  Sometimes, even though it would be the right thing to do, it's impossible.

When I make a new friend, I mistakenly believe this new person is going to be in my life forever.  I assume this person cares for me and will always be there for me.  Too often, this assumption has proven wrong.  These people become toxic, putting me down, making me feel bad about myself or just generally not appreciating me.  Cutting them loose is not as easy as I would like to say it is. 

I have one friend currently who has failed to qualify as a good friend over and over again.  She has criticized things I've done or said.  She tried to tell me who I should and should not be friends with.  She has laughed at my dating failures and even contributed to the failure of at least one dating attempt.  I have come to realize she does not want me to be happy, and although she says she cares about me, her actions speak loudly against that.  And it's not just me.  We have a few mutual friends who have had the same experiences.

But I can't write her off.  We have too much history and too many connections.  Instead, I will simply have to learn to live with her friendship style and work very hard to ignore her attempts to bring me down.

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