Friday Fiver: Annoyances in Online Dating

For reasons I really don't understand, I've waded back into the online dating pools. I must have had amnesia about how awful it is.  Or maybe I just really wanted to believe that my friends who have found love on the interwebz (you know who you are) weren't the exceptions.  But I'm starting to think they are.  How are these girls finding men worthy of long-term commitment (even marriage!!!) online when I can't even find someone I'd want to give my phone number to?  Ugh. 

Here are my biggest annoyances and turn-offs in the online dating world.

1.  Gang bangers (even fake ones)

I think the only messages I've gotten on one site are from guys throwing up gang-like gestures in their profile photo.  And not even a profile photo...their MAIN profile photo.  How is that attractive?  And what is it about my profile that made you think I would dig you?


2.  Men of few words

If you respond to my profile, please say more than, "'Sup?" If that's all you have to offer in conversation, we aren't going to be a good match.  Now, I don't want a novel, but I don't think 100 or so words is unreasonable.  That's actually pretty easy to come up with if there was something on my profile that made you want to message me -- tell me if it's something we have in common or something we disagree on.  Anything's better than, "How you doin'?"  That only worked for Joey Tribbiani.

3.  Grandpa

In addition to gang-wannabes, I've been lucky enough to get messages from guys who are into their retirement years. I'm not kidding.  I had to change my message settings after too many messages from men who are older than my dad.  Sorry, men, I'm looking for someone a little closer to my age and a little further from an AARP card.

4.  "Read/deleted"

There are very few phrases that irritate me as much as those.  I took the time to send a thoughtful message (not just asking "what's up?") and you just read it and deleted it.  Worse are the ones who delete it without reading.  That tells me you looked at my photo, decided I was hideous and didn't even care to read my message.  Then again, if that's what you think, you're obviously visually impaired anyway and wouldn't have good enough eyesight to read my message.

5.  Mr. Negativity

Here's an actual excerpt from someone's dating profile.

"I am cancelling my [insert site name] account at the end of the month. This Dating site is a waste of my time and I can't find the a woman I want. To all of you who look at my profile good luck to you and I am no long on here after this month. You still have a chance up until the end of this month to talk to you me then I am done. Good luck to all of you women out there your not with me so good luck. Guys I am not gay I am sorry. I am looking for women and I love women as well. I am not interested in a women that has kids either sorry ladies that is how it is. I am not interested because I want kids of my own."

Wouldn't you be so excited to send him a message??? Beyond the poor grammar, the negativity is just too much.