Unabashedly Me: A kiss is NOT just a kiss

An icy New Year's Eve found me parked on my couch in front of my TV and computer. I celebrated the evening with my Twitter family, and naturally the topic turned to kissing. That makes sense since New Year's Eve is all about kissing. Well, it's about drinking, saying "goodbye" to the old and "hello" to the new, but it's also a lot about kissing and whose lips are going to touch yours at midnight.

I confessed to my Twitter family that I've never had a New Year's Eve kiss. And then expanded that to tell them I've never really been kissed at all. Sorry, Drunk Matt and Even Drunker Random Irish Guy, you do not count. I couldn't even feel my face at that point, and I doubt you were feeling much either. So, no, those two instances, which happened under the influence of alcohol and my best friend (love you!), do not qualify as kisses. At all.

I'll wait while you judge me.

Done yet?

Probably not, but I have more to say.

I know it's weird. I'm 30, and I've never been kissed. Drew Barrymore was in a movie about this. Except she was only 25, and Michael Vartan took care of that on a pitcher's mound by the end of the movie. Do you think he'd reprise that role for me? Oh, who am I kidding, I don't really want Michael Vartan to be my first kiss, yummy as he may be. Maybe Jake Gyllenhaal. Or Zach Gilford. I'd have to think about it. It's been a long time since I had a "first kiss wishlist." Lance Bass was on it, if that's any indication of how long it's been. That was when I still thought my first kiss was in my immediate future (and, at that time, I didn't know Lance preferred kissing men).

I don't exactly know why it didn't happen back then, but I suspect it's probably the same reason it hasn't happened yet. Let's be honest. I could have kissed dozens of guys by now. Bars are full of guys looking for an easy lay. I could surely swing a smooch out of that. At the very least. The problem is this --- I'm opposed to the moment being meaningless. I actually subscribe to that famous monologue from the aforementioned movie, "Never Been Kissed":

"That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time."

So now you must think I'm really lame. Not only am I kiss-less at 30, but I honestly believe a kiss should mean something. It's not a game or a sport to me, but something very meaningful. Regardless of what you want to call me or say about me, I'm not going to waiver. I'm not going to kiss someone just for the sake of kissing them.

Unless it's Jake ...