Thursday, September 8, 2011

Love, look at me now

I was relieved to see my friend post that.  I didn't include her response, but she agrees with me that even though it sometimes hurts, the hopless romantic side just won't go away.

Is there a support group for this (besides facebook, twitter, message boards, etc.)?  If so, I need to sign up.  My name is Micah, and I am a hopeless romantic.

This probably doesn't come as any surprise to anyone who knows me.  My favorite songs are almost always love songs (then again, aren't most songs about love?).  I can't resist a movie or a novel with a good love story. Even baseball has a romantic side -- I have the ability to love my team under the best and worst conditions.

I have had my heart broken many many times.  I've posted about some of them here, but I've refrained from posting the more recent ones.  Those are just still too fresh.  Every time I'm rejected, overlooked, pushed aside, etc., I tell myself it's not worth it, and I just need to get happy being alone -- because that's how my life is going to be.

That mantra only lasts a little while though.  Before long, I'm back to scouring an online dating site (and believe me, scouring is the only way to weed through the creeps and weirdos) and daydreaming about the latest guy to catch my eye.

I'm a hopeless romantic. This is what we do.

I just can't decide how I feel about it.

On one hand, I feel like life would be so much easier if I didn't believe in love.  Maybe I could simply enjoy life if I didn't feel like something was missing.  Maybe I could have more inner peace if I didn't keep looking around at the couples in my life and wondering when it would be my turn.

On the other hand, I'm kind of glad I still believe in love.  The fact that I can trust in something I've never experienced firsthand says a lot about my faith and patience.  Yeah, I just called myself patient -- something I never considered until recently.  But I've realized I really am patient because I have refused to settle in my life, and I'm still holding out for that person and that feeling.

So maybe being a hopeless romantic isn't so bad ... but ask me again after another failed attempt to find love, and my feelings might be different.

And maybe someday, the hopeless part will end, and I will simply be a romantic.  I'll be waiting.

One of my favorites, Ernie Halter, kind of sums it all up in this song. (And, clearly, that's where I got the title of this post as well.)  Enjoy ...

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