Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Just friends?

Can men and women ever truly be just friends?

I know how Harry and Sally feel about this.

I have always believed it's possible to have a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Why? Because, quite honestly, I've had a lot of them in my life.

But people always insist it isn't always a cut and dry friendship. It might end up that way, but at some point, one of the parties has entertained romantic feelings about the other one.  That's the theory.

Is that true?


I confess I've had a few guy friends I crushed on at one point or another. Some of them know, and others never will. I never let my feelings ruin what, in some cases, have been much-needed friendships. But what about the others? The ones in whom I've never had a romantic interest? So does that mean they had those thoughts about me?  I'm not going to let my mind go there.

I've been thinking about this a lot because it's part of the storyline in my novel. My two lead characters have each put the other in the friend zone at some point, but their feelings are still unclear. So as I'm writing, I'm wrestling with this theory in my head.

What do you think?  
Can men and women be just friends?


  1. I believe it is, while not impossible, it is most likely true guys and girls can't be just friends. Something attracted them to one another in the first place. Either the girl was mad crushing for him, or vice versa. Feelings always are there somewhere. Unless they are completely hideous, or you're blind and lonely for any attention, someone in the friendship is feeling something about someone at sometime.
    To tell the truth, I am sure some of the ones not saying anything to you, have had thoughts of romance at sometime in the friendship. Eye patches sort out those problems. ;-)

  2. I have had several male friends who I've known for years and have never had any interest in them romantically...and as far as I know, they have never had any interest in me that way either. A few of them were friends with whoever I was dating when I met them, which might have something to do with me never seeing them that way. There are others I've known since high school and some I met in college that I was just never interested...not because they were hideous either. I just never felt that way towards them, maybe because I liked someone else, I can't really remember that far back. :) That's not to say I haven't had any guy friends that I was interested in as more than friends, I have. That's just not the case with every male friend I've ever had.

  3. In all honesty, I thought it was possible until I saw the movie When Harry Met Sally, and then I started thinking about the friendships I've had with guys over the years. I've come to the conclusion that it really is not possible to have a long term, sustaining friendship with a guy. In fact, I've recently had to let go of a friendship 5+ year friendship with one of my closest guy friends because things just got too complicated.

    Anyway, GREAT post! It's a super interesting topic. I may even have to do my own post on it sometime considering how much I had to say just now in this lil comment box =)

  4. I have a lot of guy friends and we are strictly friends. Some of them are like brothers to me. I've been friends with my bestie Zach for almost 20 years and we've been nothing but friends. It might be because a lot of guys see me as "one of the guys" since I'm so into sports. I will say that most of my boyfriends were once a guy friend before we started dating though.

    I'm intrigued by the story plot!! I would love to read it when you are done!!



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