WLJ: Things I say to myself when I'm running

I'm really sad no one can hear my inner monologue sometimes because I am hilarious.  Or maybe I just think I am.  But since I'm my only audience, I think that's all that matters.

I am especially amusing when I'm running, so I thought I'd share a sampling of things that go through my head as I'm trotting along the trail.

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It's not that hot out. 102?  It doesn't feel that bad.


Yep, this is where I wiped out and made a fool of myself. At least only two people saw me. And one woman is in my Zumba class.  She's seen me do worse than fall on my face.

Ohmygod, it feels like 110 out here.


How do celebrities go out for a run like this?  Do they?  Do their security people have to run too?  That would kind of suck.  What if you didn't feel like running that day?

I'm really glad the paparazzi doesn't follow me. Of course, then maybe I'd run faster.  And look dumber. My *N SYNC shirt would look awesome on Access Hollywood.


I hope the geese aren't on the trail. I might turn around if they are.


I can't see the geese yet. Are they there?


Oh, ****, the geese are on the trail. How am I going to get around them?


I wonder if I'd be in the police report if I got attacked by a goose?

Those people probably think I'm nuts, running all the way up on the hotel lawn. But I'm not dressed for becoming a YouTube sensation today.

Am I done yet? Why does a mile feel so long when you're running but not when you're driving?


OK, I can quit when I get to the marina. No matter how far I've gone, I can stop there.


The marina didn't look that far away a little bit ago.  Why is it so far?

Yay! I'm almost to the marina! Yay!

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OK, so that probably wasn't very funny to any of you.  But it amuses me and keeps me going while I'm running. Even when I have music, I have to talk to myself.

What does your inner monologue sound like when you're working out?

Weight-loss goal: 40 lbs.

This week's progress:-1.8 lbs.

Progress to date: -30.6 lbs.

Non-scale victory: I had an amazing run last Friday.  The time/pace didn't reflect how good I felt.  And I'm starting to convince myself that how I'm feeling while I'm running is way more important than how fast I'm going.