Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Public or private love

Recently, one of my dearest and closest friends got engaged.  I am so excited for her and her man, and I look forward to being a part of their special day.

Naturally, I wanted to know about the proposal.  I think that's a given.  I'm a writer.  I like stories.  All kinds of stories.  Especially love stories.  But I also knew that my friend and her guy are kind of private, so I didn't press her for details.  I let her share what she wanted to which was that he popped the question one morning while they were both getting ready for work.

It seems some people she's shared the story with thought the timing and setting were a little odd and maybe even boring.  I suppose in the age of Pinterest and YouTube, we assume everyone wants a meticulously planned proposal worthy of a million views on social media.

Maybe something like this?

Don't get me wrong. That video is a lot of fun, and it made me smile and feel a little mushy.

But the way my friend's guy did it was perfect for them.  Like I said, they're fairly private people, and I can't see either of them wanting a big crowd for that moment.  And talk about a surprise.  There you are making your morning coffee and feeding the cats and all of a sudden he's there with a ring.  (I'm not saying that's what she was doing, but I'm envisioning my own morning routine here.)  It would definitely set the tone for the rest of the day (and probably make me not at all productive).  I kind of love it.   Most importantly, my friend loved it.  It was their moment, so that's really all that matters. 

Personally, if I ever find someone with whom I want to share my life, I don't think I'd want a big public proposal. If you follow me on Twitter, you know I'd say "hell no" to anything involving a jumbotron. I'm not sure I want anyone around, honestly.  If there was an audience, I might get self-conscious and distracted.  I don't think I could focus on him and what he's saying or doing in those moments.  Not every girl wants her proposal to be a grand production.  I think the event should match the couple and their personalities.  The flash mobs and elaborate plans are entertaining, but I think an intimate proposal can be just as memorable.

What do you think?
What was your proposal like? (I told you I love these stories!)
If you're not engaged yet, would you prefer a private or public event?


  1. Wait...so you mean that if I propose to you at a professional baseball game, you'd say no?

    Relevant: http://www.collegehumor.com/video/2895176/prank-war-the-yankee-prankee (I've shown this in my lectures before because it's a great ice breaker and gets college sophomores giggling.)

  2. I love that lip dub video :)

    Craig proposed while we were sitting by a campfire at the beach. He used a cheapie pink heart ring so that we could go shopping together for a ring, but it would still be a surprise.I wore that ring while until we bought my ring and it was sized. That ring is now part of a Christmas ornament.

  3. Okay, I am a sap because I actually got tears in my eyes watching that video....that took a whole lot of planning but you know....personally as much over the top as it all is and sweet and everything, I really just want simple, Everything. Even the wedding I don't want anything special anymore. Him, me, and our closest friends, family, and the kids. I know that someone is going to be disappointed they were left out but I don't want big and fancy anything. Small and simple.

  4. There's SO much publicity surrounding these fantastical proposals that it's starting to get a little out of hand. I mean, they're cool and all, but that's a lot of pressure! I'm glad that Donny didn't do something like that. I would've been uncomfortable with so many people involved.

    Ours was sweet-- I had just flown into the airport and walked down the escalator to baggage claim when I see him walking toward me. He was all dressed up in a suit and tie, which was odd. (So, I kind of had an idea that he was about to propose.) He just walked up to me, dropped to one knee and opened a ring box and said, "will you marry me?" It was sweet, it was in a place that had some meaning to us, and while it was in a public place, there weren't many people around (I flew in late that night). It was perfect for us. :)


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