Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Turning low points into lessons

There are only 14 days left in 2014.  That is crazy to think about.  As a new year looms upon us, I find it interesting to reflect on the year behind us.  For me, it's more than just turning a calendar page and writing a new number on checks (do people still write them?).

I had some ups and downs in 2014. Even though I don't want to dwell on the hard times, I do think it's important to think about them a little.  They happened for a reason.  To teach me something.

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So, here are a few things I learned this past year ...

= Don't take advice from people if their life is not one you would want.
This one was a very hard one for me.  I have a lot of great people around me, and they're often throwing advice at me (sometimes unsolicited). While I'm sure they're well-meaning and definitely think they're helping me, their input is not always the best for me.  I have learned to listen to their advice as a suggestion but in the end just follow my own heart and stay true to me.

= Invest in the friends who also invest in you.
I don't have a lot of free time.  Between two jobs, workouts, and meetings for committees I'm on, any leftover time is rare and precious.  I took a long hard look at my friendships and had to decide which ones deserved my time.  I made some bad decisions and some good ones.  I'm still working on this lesson.

= Not everyone likes you, and that isn't a reflection of your worth.
This one is a work-in-progress.  I want everyone to like me.  And it's really hard for me to acknowledge when people don't.  It often costs me tears and sleep.  But I need to start accept that I'm not everyone's cup of tea.  And that's OK.  Not everyone likes craft beer, but that doesn't mean it's not awesome.

= Stop wasting money via credit cards.
I am not good with my finances, but I'm trying to get better.  When I looked at my budget and spending habits, I realized how much of my monthly income was going to credit card debt.  It's ridiculous. I am done with credit cards. I just don't know how to manage them responsibly.  I look at the balances and realize some of the items on there aren't even in my possession anymore.  That's terrible.  By the end of next year, I will be completely done with credit card debt and will only keep my Kohl's one (for the benefits) and will pay it off each month.  This has been a really expensive lesson for me to learn, but at least I have a plan now to fix it.

= Schedule workouts and downtime as if they are can't-miss appointments.
I have been on the go so much this year.  While I had a lot of fun, I also had a few times where I felt burned out.  Plus, outside of my half-marathon training, I really got off-track with my fitness (which benefits me physically and mentally).  I skipped too many workouts.  I'm not doing that again.  I'm going to start scheduling introvert recharge days and workouts in my calendar.  Hopefully I won't cancel on myself.

= Be your own cheerleader.
I can be very self-deprecating.  It's a defense mechanism, I think.  I find myself saying bad things about myself to beat someone else from saying it.  Because I assume they're going to.  This is pretty destructive behavior.  If I'm not nice to myself, why should I expect anyone else to be?  So, I've been trying to curb this habit.  I've made some progress, but this will likely be an ongoing practice. 

What are some things you've learned this year?


6 comments:

  1. Invest in the friends who also invest in you. So good! I'm struggling with this lately, especially with someone I consider a best friend. It bums me out, but it's not worth my time anymore.

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  2. Definitely good lessons to learn! Especially about friendships and finances. Always hard to learn, but the best lessons in the end.

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  3. Love that first one!!! So true! good lessons for the new year!

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  4. Schedule workouts and downtime. SO TRUE.

    Actually, all of these are great words of wisdom!

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  5. "Not everyone likes you"--I need to remember this and I think I've learned that this year, too. I am such a people pleaser but just because someone doesn't like me doesn't mean there aren't others who do!!

    And yes, scheduling time to workout and the downtime is SO important!! I told my co-worker that about the making time for working out and I hope it helped her (she's been struggling with her image and self confidence lately). I think just finding the time that works the best for you, even if you have to change it up every day/week is good as long as you stick to it :)

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  6. These are really great life lessons! I have a hard time with accepting that not everyone likes me. I don't obsess over it, but it's so awkward to be with a group of people and know at least SOMEONE doesn't like you!

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