Tuesday, June 16, 2015

A bold (for me) move


If you know much about my romantic history or lack thereof, you know I'm the kind of girl who crushes easily.  You might even call me boy crazy.  But I'm also fairly passive about those crushes.  It's true.  My interest is piqued quickly but I rarely act on that interest.  Why?  Well, I've been burned by that in the past.  Pretty badly.  To the point where I have often opted to just kind of hang back and admire from afar.  I've always been fine with this.  It allows me to keep the fantasy that someday they'll notice me and decide to make the first move. Of course that never happens. Not to me at least.  But this strategy is one I've adopted in the name of self-preservation.  If they don't know I'm interested, they can't reject me, and I still win, right?  Right.

Over the weekend, something came over me, and I turned into a girl I haven't known in a while.  Maybe ever.

See ... there's this guy in whom I've recently developed a mild interest.  He kind of snuck up on me, honestly. He's not my type. At least not in an obvious way.  But there's something intriguing about him.  And I didn't even realize I was interested until one day I said his name and noticed I was smiling when I said it. Hmm. I've been thinking about him quite a bit lately, trying to figure out how to get to know him better.  It's not an easy thing to do, though. Our paths only cross sporadically, and I've only spoken to him a few times.

A few days ago, I deliberately went to a place where I knew I'd run into him. Not only that, but I went out of my way to approach him.  I walked out to where he was and said, "I have to get to this other event, but I wanted to be sure and come say 'hi.'"  He smiled at me and we began chatting.  We carried on a conversation for about twenty minutes.  Sure, we'd exchanged pleasantries in passing prior to this, but this was the first substantial conversation. Unfortunately, I truly did have to be somewhere else, so I made an exit.  I returned to the scene later, and he was still there.  He came to ask me about the event I'd attended and then was sure to say "goodbye" before he left.  I decided that was enough groundwork to do some more research.  I approached a mutual friend to ask if he was single.  The mutual friend couldn't confirm at the time but said he would find out.  And he seemed surprised that I was asking about this person, so I don't know what that means. But I don't care.

Obviously, I would be delighted if something came out of this.  Even one date would be a huge victory.  But I'm only going to be mildly disappointed if he's unavailable for whatever reason.

There's a smaller victory here to celebrate. 

This year, for me, is all about being brave.  I am trying to embrace opportunities that require me to step outside my comfort zone to see what doors that opens.

Well, I think this counts.  And maybe it's not such a small victory.

Sure it's not the first time I've made the first move with a guy.  A month or so ago, I approached a guy I knew via social media and expressed interest, to which he dodged my invitation to meet up and catch drinks. (Although it should be noted we're still interacting with each other quite normally.) The guy from this weekend didn't run when I approached him.  In fact, you might say he did the opposite.

Even if nothing happens between us romantically, this experience has given me a little more confidence in approaching the next guy who catches my eye. I'm so proud of myself that even a rejection from this guy isn't likely to erase how I'm feeling.

13 comments:

  1. Congrats on stepping out! I married a guy who was not my usual type and it has worked out pretty well so who knows? When you least expect it...

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  2. MFD is totally not my "type" and we've been together for 14 years this year. Good for you for stepping out!

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  3. That's a HUGE step, Micah!! I still don't think I have the guts to do this because of fear of rejection, but I'm happy you were able to take that initial jump :)

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  4. amazing! I've always been scared to make the first move. Always. I admire your bravery and this is a huge victory for you! No matter what happens, you should be proud of yourself for doing it!

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  5. proud of you! It's hard to take that step out of your comfort zone sometimes, but it's necessary to push yourself to do it! YAY for being brave and talking to cute boys! :)

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  6. Yay! I'm proud of you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Keep us posted!

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  7. This is a huge victory and definitely very brave of you. I love how you just went for it, but on your own terms. Maybe something about this guy brought it out in you. So happy to hear - can't wait to find out what happens. Nonetheless, its a victory. :) You go girl!

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  8. I think it's fantastic to put yourself out there and have the attitude that you're okay with whatever comes of it. Types? I've dated MANY types, and I've failed and succeeded many times over. I think it's good to open yourself to a new "type". You never know what you may learn about yourself.

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  9. We've already discussed this, but I am very proud of you! I know how hard it is to step out of the 'ole comfort zone, but I think in the end it will be totally worth it! :)

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  10. I love this! I hope something comes out of it, but if not, I'm glad you got your confidence back. My husband and I are polar opposites and not like any one I was interested in dating, but we work. A new type could be a good thing! Can't wait to hear more.

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  11. I'm so proud and happy for you Micah! I know we've chatted previously about guys and being guarded and are very similar so I know just what it took for you to do this. It's scary. (I'm in a similar situation right now too.) I'm hoping something comes out of it for you!

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  12. That is awesome! I'm so proud of you! You'll have to tell me more about this when I see you next week! :)

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  13. Congratulations on being brave and taking a chance. Even if nothing happens with this guy, something good will come from this.

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