A bold (for me) move

If you know much about my romantic history or lack thereof, you know I'm the kind of girl who crushes easily.  You might even call me boy crazy.  But I'm also fairly passive about those crushes.  It's true.  My interest is piqued quickly but I rarely act on that interest.  Why?  Well, I've been burned by that in the past.  Pretty badly.  To the point where I have often opted to just kind of hang back and admire from afar.  I've always been fine with this.  It allows me to keep the fantasy that someday they'll notice me and decide to make the first move. Of course that never happens. Not to me at least.  But this strategy is one I've adopted in the name of self-preservation.  If they don't know I'm interested, they can't reject me, and I still win, right?  Right.

Over the weekend, something came over me, and I turned into a girl I haven't known in a while.  Maybe ever.

See ... there's this guy in whom I've recently developed a mild interest.  He kind of snuck up on me, honestly. He's not my type. At least not in an obvious way.  But there's something intriguing about him.  And I didn't even realize I was interested until one day I said his name and noticed I was smiling when I said it. Hmm. I've been thinking about him quite a bit lately, trying to figure out how to get to know him better.  It's not an easy thing to do, though. Our paths only cross sporadically, and I've only spoken to him a few times.

A few days ago, I deliberately went to a place where I knew I'd run into him. Not only that, but I went out of my way to approach him.  I walked out to where he was and said, "I have to get to this other event, but I wanted to be sure and come say 'hi.'"  He smiled at me and we began chatting.  We carried on a conversation for about twenty minutes.  Sure, we'd exchanged pleasantries in passing prior to this, but this was the first substantial conversation. Unfortunately, I truly did have to be somewhere else, so I made an exit.  I returned to the scene later, and he was still there.  He came to ask me about the event I'd attended and then was sure to say "goodbye" before he left.  I decided that was enough groundwork to do some more research.  I approached a mutual friend to ask if he was single.  The mutual friend couldn't confirm at the time but said he would find out.  And he seemed surprised that I was asking about this person, so I don't know what that means. But I don't care.

Obviously, I would be delighted if something came out of this.  Even one date would be a huge victory.  But I'm only going to be mildly disappointed if he's unavailable for whatever reason.

There's a smaller victory here to celebrate. 

This year, for me, is all about being brave.  I am trying to embrace opportunities that require me to step outside my comfort zone to see what doors that opens.

Well, I think this counts.  And maybe it's not such a small victory.

Sure it's not the first time I've made the first move with a guy.  A month or so ago, I approached a guy I knew via social media and expressed interest, to which he dodged my invitation to meet up and catch drinks. (Although it should be noted we're still interacting with each other quite normally.) The guy from this weekend didn't run when I approached him.  In fact, you might say he did the opposite.

Even if nothing happens between us romantically, this experience has given me a little more confidence in approaching the next guy who catches my eye. I'm so proud of myself that even a rejection from this guy isn't likely to erase how I'm feeling.