Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Date Yourself Challenge recap

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I signed up for the Date Yourself Challenge as hosted by Veronica Grant. I didn't know exactly what to expect. All I knew was I wanted to learn more about myself and figure out why I've always struggled with dating.  I can honestly say I got all of that and more.

Here's a day by day account of each of the challenges and my thoughts:

Day 1: Do something that brings you joy.
I usually only buy myself flowers when I'm having a bad day/week, but why not celebrate the good times with beautiful blooms as well?  I feel like this is a huge sign about what I expect from a partner. I don't just want gifts or kind gestures when times are tough or he's done something wrong. I want them "just because." Because he's thinking about me or just wanted to surprise me.

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Day 2:  Be adventurous.
I always plan out my races, sometimes months in advance. I've never registered for a race on the day of. Until May 14. I woke up that morning with two races to choose from. One was right in my neighborhood on trails I know well. The other was in a park I'd never been to. I chose the second one. The race was small and very local. The route wasn't well-marked, and I took a wrong turn and ended up having to make up my own route for a little while.  And I didn't have my watch or any apps running to tell me how far or fast I was going.  And it was still a great run. I felt really good when I finished.  I don't tend to be a spontaneous person, but maybe I should be once in a while.

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Day 3: Romance yourself.
My breakfasts (even on the weekends) are usually something easy and quick. On this day, I decided to take a little more time and prepare a brunch -- three-cheese omelet, fresh avocado, turkey sausage, whole wheat toast, and a mimosa. Delicious.  Even though I enjoy the simple things in life, occasionally it's fun to have a little splurge.

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Day 4: Do something that makes you feel beautiful.
When I was younger, I never imagined I'd wear red lipstick.  Then I discovered this shade (Firecracker by Mary Kay), and I love it.  I feel beautiful every time I wear it. Sometimes doing just one thing different can have an effect.

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Day 5: Do something that makes you feel connected.
During my lunch hour, I went for a walk around our recreational ponds. With only my music for company, I was alone with my thoughts as I walked. It was perfect.

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Day 6: Do something that makes you feel strong.

Now, this was not to be a physical kind of strength, but more a show of your intuition and being strong in that sense. I really struggled with this one and there's no photo. During a roundtable discussion at work, we were debating liability on a claim. There's one woman in my department who is far more experienced and usually better at assessing/arguing liability. But when she was presenting her argument today, I didn't agree with her. There were some things I think she wasn't considering. Usually, I would not speak up, but today I did. I didn't necessarily "win" the debate (there really was no winner), but at least I spoke up and gave the group something else to think about.

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Day 7: Do something that makes you feel sexy.

I shaved my legs (above the knee) and wore lace underneath my work clothes.

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Day 8: Do something that makes you feel confident.
People hate on selfies, but I love them. When I post a selfie, it's because I'm feeling good about myself. I refuse to feel bad about sharing a moment of high confidence.

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Day 9: Do something that makes you feel smart.

Reading makes me feel smart. Especially non-fiction. Above is my current selection and I'm slowly working through it. I spent some time with it on this morning before leaving for a road trip with friends.

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Day 10: Do something that makes you feel loved.

This was a rough day. I had too much fun at a wedding the previous night, so I mostly spent the day recovering. I suppose just taking care of myself was my effort to feel loved.


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This was an excellent learning experience. I think the biggest thing I took away is that I am and can be all of these things -- beautiful, smart, sexy, relaxed, loved, confident. etc. And I can create all of these feelings for myself. I don't need anyone special to spark them. I also met a community of women who, like myself, are amazing but have struggled in the dating arena.

Ironically enough, the day after I posted about taking on this challenge, I started dating someone (sorry, no additional details on that for you yet).  Still, I carried through with these exercises because I believed it would help me form a better relationship with myself and also help me learn more about what I wanted in a relationship with someone else. So far, all of that has been true. Because of the challenges, I feel more aware of who I am, what I have to offer, and what I want from someone else. It was a very enlightening and empowering experience. I look forward to learning more in the Dating Mindset Bootcamp.




7 comments:

  1. You can't drop "I started dating someone" but then not give details! I'm dying.

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  2. I LOVE this recap! Your insights + a-ha's are incredible. Go you, and I can't wait to support you on your journey + in your new relationship inside the Bootcamp. :) xo

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  3. I'm so glad you had a great experience with this challenge, and I hope that this new dating adventure is amazing!

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  4. I think we need some detail!

    Also, this would be a fabulous challenge for military wives during deployments.

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  5. It's so good to hear that you had a positive experience dating yourself! It sounds like you really learned a lot from this challenge! (And I agree with Kristin, we will need some details!)

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