I've never been good at casual -- friendships or dating. If I'm in, I'm all in. I'm fairly certain this is why I was single for so long. I didn't want to date just to date. I was looking for a relationship. The right relationship. And I always believed that when I found it, I would just know it.
That was sort of the case with Sean, however it took me a little longer to buy in than it did for him. Within a few weeks of being together, he had broken out the L word. That terrified me. Not because I was afraid of how much he cared, but because I realized I now had the power to hurt him. Not that I intended to, but it was possible. And I knew I did not want to do that. I prefer to never hurt people, and I especially didn't want to hurt him. He's one of the kindest, most caring, and most sensitive people I've ever met. Hurting him would have wrecked me. Even in the early stages.
|Our first selfie together.|
Not long ago, we were talking about that early time and he asked what changed for me, what made me decide I was in love with him. I responded that there wasn't one single instant or incident that sparked it. It was just something that built until I just felt what I felt.
There are so many things about Sean that I love, but probably the overall winner is the way he treats me.
He has never played games or made me guess what he felt for me. He let me know early on how much he liked me and how much he enjoyed being with me. I've never had a question of, "is Sean going to call?" or "does he really like me or is this just a time filler?"
He has always encouraged me in whatever I was pursuing at the moment. From races to writing to my next insurance exam, no one is a bigger cheerleader for me than he is.
He looks at me as though I am the most beautiful and amazing person he has ever met. I know I am riddled with flaws (as we all are), but the way he looks at me makes me feel perfect and special.
He's never asked me to change or shamed me in any way for who I am. He loves my passion for baseball. He doesn't care how long my hair is or what clothes I wear. He likes my cats and is trying to win them over (he's getting there).
We talk every day, and he loves phone calls. On the days we're not together, he calls me, just to talk about our day. In an age when texting seems to be far more common than a phone call, this feels special.
We have faced our share of challenges throughout this relationship, and I know there are more (and probably tougher ones) in the future, but there's no one I'd rather face them with than him.
Over the past few months, we've had many discussions about our future -- moving in together, getting married, and everything that comes after. We knew that was where we were headed. And we're both planners, so we've talked in great detail about a lot of it. This shocked and concerned some people around us, but we weren't concerned. We knew what we felt. And we knew what we wanted. And we knew it was right.
Stick with me for the third and final installment of this story coming next week.