Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Wedding Wednesday: The realities of planning a wedding

Movies and television have warped my idea of what it meant to be a bride-to-be. Even though I tried to be realistic, I think my hopes were still too high. I expected celebrations, champagne, lots of gushing with friends and colleagues about my plans, and just general happiness. I was not prepared for the stress and disappointments.

Here are a few of the harsh realities I have had to swallow during this process:
Everything is more expensive than you anticipated.  
Even in trying to keep things simple, I'm finding it all adds up. Not just the big things -- venue, food, etc. There's also a noise permit, the license, favors, bridal party gifts, accessories, wedding weekend accommodations, etc. Every time I turn around, there's another expense.

Figure out what your time is worth. 
Some people are really good at DIY projects. I'm not. I'd like to be, but I'm not. As a result, I've spent a lot of money on Etsy getting handmade products. I probably could have attempted them on my own, but there would have been lots of stress and probably some tears and some swear words. I decided the money was worth it.

No one will care as much about your wedding as you do.  
My big day is super important to me. And it's important to about a handful of other people. For everyone else, it's just kind of something that's on their calendar. They don't spend hours a week thinking about it. They don't agonize over every detail. Then again, that could be a blessing. (See next point.)

Things will not go as planned.  
There have already been a few hiccups in this planning process. The good news is (since no one cares as much as I do) is that those hiccups and any future snafus will go unnoticed by 98 percent of the people. Silver lining, right?

Weddings are an inconvenience. 
I try really hard to be accommodating and amenable in all areas of my life so as not to inconvenience others. That has not been possible with my wedding. People have to spend money. People have to travel. My brewery job will have a staff shortage on my wedding day. I am trying hard not to feel guilty about any of this, but that's been a tough battle.
... and one I'm sure I'll face in a few months.
Someone will hate something about your wedding.
The wine was too cheap. The food wasn't good. The beer selection was terrible. The music was boring. The decorations were lame. The dress was plain. I expect many of these things will be said about my wedding. Hopefully not directly to me, but ... you never know. People are weird. And rude.

All that said, I am not sorry I'm getting married. I do not regret any of my decisions for this wedding. It's going to reflect who Sean and I are, and it's going to be a heck of a party. And then I get to continue doing life with Sean. That's the reward for all of this.


  1. The unfortunate part is that, no matter how much planning and stressing you do over it now, something will always go unplanned the day of and there's nothing you can do about that. It's better to just go with the flow. Getting married pretty young, I didn't know any better to be completely stressing over it, and that ended up being to my benefit.
    The important part is (besides the marriage :) that you have a good time.

  2. I can’t wait for your big day I’m looking forward to it so much!!! It will be amazing!


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