Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now

Note:  I shared this on my private blog yesterday, and I decided I'd edit it and bring it public as well. 

Travelling always gives me a lot of time to think -- in the car, in the airport, on the plane.  And as you all know, love has been on my mind a lot lately.

Damn hopeless romantic tendencies.

Damn all my happy coupled-up friends.

Damn Dave Barnes and his sweet love songs.

They make me want more.

It doesn't help that I have two "save the dates," one wedding invitation and one baby shower invitation hanging on my fridge. Everyday, when I go grab a honeycrisp apple, I'm reminded that my friends are moving into the couple stage of life and I'm still alone.

And it doesn't help that I read at least one romance novel a month (I can't resist them) and all of my favorite movies are about finding love (then again, aren't they all about that in some way?).  And shall we mention Dave Barnes again?  I listened to his catalogue last week.  Damn him.  And all my other favorite musician boys, who write such sweet songs.  Damn them too.

Ultimately, despite what I think or try to tell myself to think, I don't want to completely give up the hope that I'll someday find someone.  It's not that I believe I'm missing anything or that there's a hole in my life. I have a good job, awesome family, fantastic friends, my own house, cuddly furry children, baseball, music, writing, etc.  Simply put, my world is pretty awesome.

No, I'm not missing anything.  But I do believe someone is missing out on me. I truly believe that despite all my flaws and quirks, I am still pretty awesome.  And I want to share that awesome with someone.  The right someone.

Therein lies the problem.  How do you find the right someone?  I've given up on online dating.  I tried it on and off for the last decade with minimal success.  It's just not for me.  Even though I'm good with words, I'm horrible at talking myself up in a little white box on a screen.  There's so much I can't convey.  I'm also terrified of being fooled.  This is probably common ... and fairly unavoidable. We're all a fool at some point, right? 

Either way, I think the more traditional routes of meeting people are a better option for me.

Ideally, I want to meet someone through friends --- that way I have some way of getting background on him or at least knowing he's not a serial killer.  And my friends can help me by talking me up.  I need that help since I'm not great on "selling myself," and I know that I'm cute but not a love at first sight girl.  No guy is going to look at me across a bar/room and decide he just has to get to know me.  Nope.  But once someone talks to me and gets to know me ... that's when I become attractive.  I know this about myself, and I embrace it. I'd much rather be the girl who grows on you than the one who looks good but has nothing to say.

So what do I do now?

I go on living my badass life.

I travel to places with my favorite people (or maybe by myself?).

I go to Rangers games all over the country, meeting up with the finest fans.

I roadtrip to a random concert just because.  

I write my next novel.  And another one.

I celebrate another holiday, birthday or milestone with friends.

No one wants a girl who doesn't have her own life, and I certainly don't want to be that girl either.  Like I said earlier, I'm not looking for someone to complete me, I'm looking for someone to complement me. There's a huge difference.

While I'm doing all this living, I'm also waiting.  For someone who's not particularly patient about a lot of things, I will be patient on this issue.  I want Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.

1 comment:

Pin It button on image hover