Thursday, October 20, 2011

My own worst enemy

I've always known I'm my own worst critic.  I know I have some form of social anxiety which makes me believe people automatically dislike me when they meet me and it's my duty to win them over.  My eyes were opened a little the other day when, on one of the message boards I frequent, we fed our narcissism by describing each other in just a few words.  I was stunned by the things those people (mostly boys, since it's a baseball board) said about me.  Allow me to feed my narcissism further by sharing some of the here:
  • cool chick needs man  ((I don't think I "need," but maybe he meant I deserve one... ha ha))
  • great taste, huge fan ((he's referring to my music in the first portion of this comment))
  • Don't take no shit.
  • Easily holds her own 
  • Easy going baseball girl 
  • rolls with the punches. 
  • Biggest balls on [the message board]
  • Always asks about my brother.  ((his brother is hot)) 
  • Top Five Female [poster] 
  • Cool girl, great attitude. 
  • More integrity than most. 
  • Cool girl and I'm sure a blast to hang around (but I can't verify since I don't know her in real life)
  • Passionate writer and blogger
  • [Message board] Mama Bear or The Voice of Reason
  • Probably the female authority on the Texas Rangers, smart and funny

To repeat myself, I was really shocked by some of these descriptions.  The "easy going" ones especially, since I've been accused of being too emotional.  And I'm always glad to see someone thinks I have some knowledge of my team and the game.  Sometimes I wonder.  And I know I still have A LOT to learn.
If this exercise taught me anything (besides the fact that those guys like me a lot more than I previously thought), it's that I need to be a little kinder to myself.  Apparently I am quite likeable, so I need to stop worrying about what people may or may not think of me and just be myself.

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