Friday, October 19, 2012

Relationship = worth? I don't think so.

 I've seen this someecard (or some variation of it) on a number of blogs and facebook pages.  

And I've decided it really bothers me.  

Here's why ...

First of all,
Why do we care about Honey Boo Boo's mom? 
She's a person. Simply that. 
Yes, she's on a reality TV show, and her relationship track record has been well-documented.  
But, honestly ... who cares?

Note that it says a relationship.  Not a good relationship.  Just a relationship.
Anyone can get a boyfriend or girlfriend.  
But no one should ever settle for that.
Reach for more.

Third, and finally,
Being in a relationship does not instantly give someone more value.
I know our society has groomed us to believe that.  Look at the attention facebook gives to relationships. Not only can you list being in a relationship with someone, but you can define that relationship.  When you get engaged or married, it stays in your friends' sidebar for a week.  It's sad, really.  I don't see the same level of attention given to someone who finishes their master's degree, gets a new job or has another professional or life accomplishment.  I bet that guy who did the space jump last week would receive more "likes" for a relationship status change than one about his record-breaking leap.

I'm sure people will read this and decide I'm just a bitter single. 
Not true. I am happily single and completely unwilling to settle for just someone.
 These two songs pretty much sum it up for me.

 So come on now, friends.
Stop posting this someecard in an action of self-pity.
So what if Honey Boo Boo's mom is in a relationship and you're not?
All it really means is that there IS someone for everyone.
I don't necessarily subscribe to that.
But that theory is more logical than the belief that you are somehow unworthy if you are not in a relationship.
Because if you're my friend, I assure you that you are not unworthy.

Happy Friday everyone!!


  1. I posted a version of the Honey Boo Boo quote a couple weeks ago, but I did it kinda tongue-in-cheek. I think it's meant to be humorous rather than serious. I mean, I'm pretty much as single as they come, and this got a chuckle out of me. I do think there's also an underlying message about being selective, though. Clearly-- whoever decided to partner with Honey Boo Boo's mom is not as selective as you and I, which also deserves a chuckle.

    You make excellent points about Facebook and relationships. I had noticed that engagement/ marriages show up in the sidebar for what seems like eons, but I never really put deeper thought into how Facebook is glorifying relationships while not necessarily giving the same attention to TRUE accomplishments (like finishing your Master's degree).

    Ultimately, I do truly believe that being single says a lot more about a person than being in "a" relationship. Because you're completely right-- ANYONE can be in "a" relationship. But if you're single, especially if you've been single for a while like you and me, it speaks that you value yourself enough to not settle for "a" relationship. It also speaks pretty loudly that your awesome life rocks without needing to be physically or emotionally dependent on another person.

    <3 you.

  2. Amen, sister! I'm such a firm beleiver in not settling and not being in a relationship just to say you're in one, even if it's a bad one. You hit the nail right on the head!


  3. I always love reading your posts! I find them so refreshing and REAL. Being content with my 'singleness' is something that is NEW for me, but, I'm finally there. I've realized that relationships DO NOT define you and I'd rather wait for a GREAT one than settle for some guy just to be in a relationship. Thanks for sharing your opinions on this- great read :)

  4. Clap! Clap! Clap!!!! I actually walked out of a meeting at church at one point because they defined a woman's value completely by her ability to produce offspring. Now, I don't want to deminish motherhood but being single and not having children is an accomplishment too. Especially since nobody gives 16 year old not pregnant girls reality TV shows.
    Good for you! Being single is not a disease. I agree with you completely, I could have married the wrong guy, divorced him and ended up a statistic. Would that have made me better? I don't think so.


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