Friday, December 7, 2012

How to find love during the holidays

This is such a romantic time of year  -- looking at Christmas lights, cuddling on the couch and watching holiday movies and kisses under the mistletoe.  I mean, come on.  Outside of Valentine's Day, I think Christmas and New Year's are the other two times of year when singlehood is definitely amplified.  That's not a complaint.  It's an observation.

Songs like these don't help ...




Sigh.

I've also been watching quite a few Christmas movies lately.  They are the sappiest and most cheesetastic entertainment ever.  And they're also really addictive.  Once you watch one, you have to watch them all.  My DVR can hardly keep up.  And I'm running out of Kleenex.

Anyway ... I've also learned quite a bit watching these movies, particularly when it comes to finding romance during the holiday season. 

Here are some of the tactics I haven't yet tried, but obviously should:

ONE
Be a single mom with a kid who thinks you need a new love.  
Whether you're widowed, divorced or just never married, having a kid works perfectly.  He/she is a great matchmaker and always pairs you up with the right person ... but you'll resist or be unaware of it at first.  Until you see him with your kid or there's soft sweet music playing underneath an intense conversation.

I'd have to work hard and wait to do this one, since my only "kids" have fur, four paws and don't talk (at least not in a language I understand).

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TWO
Hire someone to pose as your significant other for a family gathering or party.
How else are you going to land Joey Lawrence?  Or someone like him, I guess.  You take him to your party where your friends/relatives gush over him and tell him your embarrassing secrets.  And then he falls in love with you.  But not before you fight about your original "deal."  The makeup kiss is the best.  Yes, this worked quite well for Debra Messing in "The Wedding Date" as well.

I could do this one, I guess. But where would I hire this guy?  I suppose I have plenty of guy followers on Twitter. That could work.

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THREE
Get stuck in a confined place with someone you hate.
They say hate is really misplaced passion.  Right?  Well, that's the point here, I think. You get stuck in a snowstorm or an elevator with your bitter enemy.  As you navigate your situation, you're force to communicate and get to know one another ... only to discover you actually want him. 

This would be my last ditch strategy.  Right now I'm thinking about guys I dislike, and if I had to be stuck somewhere with them, I don't think both of us would make it out alive, let alone in love.

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FOUR
Return to your hometown to save a community relic or your family home.
While you're there, you meet up with an old love or someone who was always a friend, but now you suddenly see them as more.  But of course this takes a little while. Probably the entire course of your stay in your hometown. Only as you're getting ready to leave do you finally realize he's the one you want to be with.

 I don't have any high school loves.  I had a lot of crushes, but thanks to Facebook, I'm not curious about (or interested in) any of them anymore. And, trust me, no one had a crush on me, so the vice versa wouldn't work either.  This option is obviously not going to work for me ... although it's slightly more appealing than #3.

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Did I miss any good holiday movie strategies for finding love?

Oh, and in each of these scenarios, I must also be very jaded and distrusting of men/love/romance.
I'll have to work on that part first, I guess, since I'm still a bit of a hopeless romantic.
Oops.  Someday, I'll learn. Maybe.

6 comments:

  1. I think you hit all the big ones! I don't know where they come up with these ideas... Lol. But you're right-- Christmas and New Years is a very romantic time of year. I think worse than VDay even.

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  2. Ha!n This is too funny! I know that they have TV shows where owners get their dogs to set them up.

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  3. I'm watching one now. I really should be drinking...wine may make this less....painfully single!!

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  4. Bahahaa. The wedding date is my favorite movie. Maybe I'll try that out this year with my extra blog income-escort dating. Ha! Great post!

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  5. love the "getting someone to pose as your BF", my family can get really stubborn on the subject of meeting my other half. I am sure you can rent them somewhere... craigslist maybe?

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  6. This is fabulous! One of my co-workers and I were trying to write a choose-your-own adventure Hallmark movie the other day, and these cliches are pretty much exactly what we were making fun of!

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