Friday, March 30, 2012

If I had five hundred million dollars ...

You just sang that title to the tune of the Barenaked Ladies song, "If I Had a Million Dollars," didn't you? 
If so, yay ... that's the way I intended it to be.  
If not, you fail - go back and read it again.
It kind of works.

Anyway ...

Everyone is talking about the Mega Millions jackpot, 
which (at the time of this writing) is currently worth 
$540 million.

That's a lot of cash!
I imagine it looks something like this ....

... but bigger!

You better believe I bought a ticket.  
Or maybe a few.
 I could use a half a billion dollars.

The odds of winning the jackpot are about one in 176 million.   
So .... you're telling me there's a chance?

If you take a lump sum payment, you get $389 million. Or about $237 million after taxes.
If you take annual payments, you get $19.2 million a year for 26 years. 
Call me crazy, but I'd opt for the lump sum.
Yep.  I want it all right now.

It's fun to think about what I'd do with all that money.  

The first thing I'd do is hire a lawyer. (Jennie, get ready.)

Second, I'd quickly deactivate my facebook and get a new phone number.

Third, I'd call my parents and tell them they can quit their jobs.

Fourth, I'd tell my brother and closest friends to get ready for a big payday. 
Yep, I'm sharing.  What's a few thousand (or million) to a friend or twenty.  
They can do whatever they want with the money.

What would I do with the money left?

Pay off my house.
Chump change from this jackpot.


 And my student loans.
Such a small amount left to pay, so this wouldn't take much.


I'd make a gift to my alma mater.
The Micah [last name] Communication Center sounds nice.
But we can work on that.


I'd have a big concert festival with all of my favorite artists.
And a limited guest list.
Sorry I'm not sorry.
 There definitely won't be that many people there.
And no port-a-potties.
But you get the idea.


I'd travel more. 
Anywhere I need a passport, since I've never been out of the country.
Who's going with me?

I'd buy season tickets to the Texas Rangers.  
For the games I can't go to, I'll give the tickets to the Fabulous Rangers Ladies. 
That might be a lot of games because I won't be quitting my job.  
At least not yet.  
I probably would take some time off for that traveling and to finish my novel.
But I would definitely still work.
Yep, I'm weird like that.


 Besides, I'll be busy visiting all the Major League ballparks in North America.
Again, who's going with me?


And going on dates with Jake Gyllenhaal, Zach Gilford and Zac Efron.
 Zach didn't dress up.  That's OK.
 P.S. I totally don't have a type, do I? 


Finally, I'd find a good financial advisor and 
invest the remaining money for future needs -- wedding, kids' college, etc.

Ahhh ....
What a fun fantasy on a Friday ....


Did you buy a ticket?
Would you take the lump sum or the payments?
How would you use the money?


  1. I'm so in for the trips to the Ballparks!! :) And I would love to take any extra tickets that you couldn't use from your season ticket pack!!

    Happy Friday!


  2. Yes, I definitely sang the BNL song when I saw the title of today's entry. I will definitely buy 2 tickets for this drawing, as I did on Monday (hey, someone's got to win it, right? Heck I'd gladly share it with multiple winners, I'm not greedy.) :) I'd take the lump sum (for sure) and we have some of the same goals for the cash-we would pay off house/bills, help out our parents/family and as many friends as we could, give generously to our favorite charities, put some away for our 2 boys to go to college, Rangers season tickets (of course), travel more (definitely would do all 30 ballparks!!). I love your music festival idea, that's cool and something I'd never thought of doing. I would not keep working where I am now, I'd take some time off and maybe start a business later on down the road. It's kinda fun to think about this, isn't it? :) Happy Friday!

  3. Haha I think I might steal this idea for my post today! BTW love Zach Gilford!! Those are some pretty fun ways to spend your money :)


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