Music Monday: Bryan White - "The Little Things"

Bryan White is easily my first love in country music. I was beyond thrilled to finally see him live and meet him a few years ago.  My first favorite song by him was "Someone Else's Star," which still feels like my anthem sometimes.  This one melts my heart.  It's taken over as my favorite Bryan song.




Bonus --- these two songs still break my heart ....

Everyone has a secret, oh can they keep it ...

Last week, one of my favorite tweeps and bloggers wrote about having a secret. As she always does with her writing, Caroline inspired me to think a little bit.  Or rather a lot.  I have been thinking about secrets ever since reading that entry on Thursday.

I often laud myself as an open book, but if I'm being honest, I'm really not.  I'm actually pretty guarded, only letting people see pieces of me over time.  And there are some things about me that no one knows. No one. Maybe no one ever will.

Some secrets are bad.  Mostly if they could potentially hurt you or someone else. 

But there are some things best kept to yourself.  A few years ago, I developed a crush on a local guy I refer to only as Eye Candy.  It made my day to see him.  Just see him.  That's all it took to make me smile and feel good.  Glimpses of him were rare, which probably only added to the joy. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," right?  To this day, I've never revealed his identity to anyone.  Several people asked and begged to know who I was tweeting and posting about, but I wasn't giving him up. I think the number one reason for keeping his identity a secret was to avoid the humiliation I experienced in high school.  But I also think I really just enjoyed having something that was all mine.

I still see Eye Candy every now and then, but he doesn't hold the same appeal.  Even if our "secret affair" is over, I'm still not telling who he is.  That's my secret. 

One of them. 

Saturday's Snapshot: Hats

I may or may not love baseball caps. I submit the following as evidence for you to decide.

Friday Fiver: Favorite Reality Stars

I am a bit of a TV junkie. I have gotten more than my money's worth out of my DVR, which I've used to record everything from dramas to talk shows to baseball.  And, yes, there's quite a bit of reality tv on there too -- "Big Brother," "Survivor," "The Biggest Loser," "The Bachelor/Bachelorette" and "Dating in the Dark," just to name a few.  Over the years, there have been reality "stars" I've hated, and a few I've really loved.  Here are my five favorite people from reality TV, in no particular order.

Dr. Travis Stork

He's one of the hosts of the show, "The Doctors" now, but I first spied Travis when he was on "The Bachelor." I thought he was adorable, intelligent and just an all around good guy.  I still think that about him, and I wouldn't be above faking illness or injury for the chance to get close to him.

Mike Morelli

His weight loss on season 7 of "The Biggest Loser" was inspiring.  I also loved his close relationship with his dad and brother.  And he was always nice to the other contestants.  During one challenge, he won a year's supply of groceries, which he handed over to Aubrey, a contestant who had young children.  I thought it was a very generous and mature move for such a young man. 

Janelle Pierzina

At first I thought Janelle was ditzy and annoying, but I quickly figured out that she was actually quite astute, especially in the game of "Big Brother" (she was on season 6 and the all-star season). She came in third during her first season, and she was a fan favorite.  Love her.

Miranda Lambert

Sure, she's a country star now, but she actually came in third on the first season of "Nashville Star." It's sort of a countryfied version of "American Idol," but those contestants had a tougher road -- there were a few weeks when they had to perform original songs.  Of course, that was no problem for the young Miranda.  A few months after "Nashville Star" wrapped, I saw her at the Austin City Limits Music Festival. I actually sat and chatted with her mom during and after the performance.

James Clement

Who knew a gravedigger could look like this?  His voice is as incredible as those abs. He was not only strong, but he was pretty smart too, as he attempted to outwit other contestants on "Survivor: China."  He didn't quite succeed -- only making it to day 30 (out of 38) -- and he was completely blindsided. He had two immunity idols, but failed to play either one because he believed he was safe.  Ok, so maybe he wasn't THAT smart, but he won over the fans and collected a cash prize anyway.

A little chocolate to get through the week

Most of the time, I eat sweets without feeling too much guilt.  That's because I don't eat them ALL THE TIME.  But I do enjoy baked goods -- making them, consuming them and, especially, sharing them. My co-workers are already lamenting the loss of my goodies.  I think they'll miss my blonde brownies and pumpkin spice muffins more than they'll miss me.  Ha ha.  So I'm going to make a few more treats in my remaining weeks at the newspaper.  Starting now.

Hungry Girl's Yum Yum Brownie Muffins

Ingredients

1 15 oz. can of pumpkin

1 Devil's Food Cake Mix

Instructions

Stir pumpkin with cake mix until moist. It takes a little while, and it can be quite the workout, but it's worth it. The mix will have sort of a fudgy texture when you're done.  Spoon into a lined cupcake pan. Bake at the time and temperature listed on the cake mix box.  Let cool. Enjoy.

That's it. 

Really.

My house smells amazing right now, and as a bonus, these are also very waist-friendly -- only about 180 calories per serving.

By the way, Hungry Girl has some great cookbooks out as well as a daily e-mail with tips and recipes for guilt-free good food.  She also recently launched a TV show that airs on the Food Network at 3 p.m. (CST) each Saturday.  I highly recommend all of it.

Priorities

I am moving in exactly eighteen days.

EIGHTEEN.

((For those who may have missed it, I have accepted a new job and will be relocating to a town two hours northwest of where I currently live.))

And many of those eighteen days will be spent working and getting in some time with friends.

Oh, and I need to pack too.

I'm dreading it. Particularly since I'll be leaving a lot of my possessions in boxes/Rubbermaid tubs for two months while I live in temporary housing.  So I need to be really organized with my packing.  But I just can't seem to get started. I keep finding other things I'd rather do instead -- look up recipes for cookies and cream cupcakes, create/play Barney Stinson on "Sims 3," watch the State of the Union Address ... you get the picture. I just don't want to start packing. I keep telling myself to do an hour or so each night to make the task seem less daunting, but that doesn't work.  Besides, I know once I get started, I will just keep going, so it won't just be an hour.

I swear I'm starting tonight though.  As soon as I finish this post, I'm going to start going through my closet to bag up perfectly good clothes I won't or can't wear anymore.  I will take them to the local consignment store tomorrow.  On Saturday, I'm getting some boxes/tubs from my parents, so I can then begin making some real progress. 

And since I'm putting it here on my blog, I want all (two) of you to ask me on Sunday night how much packing I've gotten done.  Seriously. Do it. 

Music Monday: Graham Colton - "Best Days"

Can't wait to see him for the first time in a few weeks!

Saturday's Snapshot: Cleo

Meet Cleo. 

She's one of my two furbabies. 

I rescued her from a shelter almost eight years ago.

She is ornery, playful and cuddly.

She has destroyed furniture and made my home searches difficut.

But I don't regret adopting her. Not for a minute.

I love her.

Friday Fiver: Current YouTube Obsessions

I can spend HOURS on YouTube.  And I have.  I believe Julie, Kathleen and I did that a few weeks ago when I stayed with them.  Here are just a few of my current favorite vids ...

I love this song anyway, but this girl really brings it. I wish I could sing like that.  Her cover of "Mean" is pretty rad too.

A fan made this video, and it's unbelievable.  Mayer, himself, was pretty impressed with the fan's work.

Two of my favorites, singing about one of the signature news stories of 2010.  Ha ha ha.  Love it.

My favorite cast of my second favorite musical singing to one of their castmates on her 40th birthday.  Fantastic.

The grand finale is the funniest, but since they won't let me embed, you'll have to click to the video. It's worth it, so just do it.

Total Eclipse of the Heart (Literal Music Video)

Happy Friday, kids.  Do something fun.



Nevermind the gap

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine wrote as her facebook status: "How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself. Everybody should try it :)"

First, I was envious.  She is truly in a great relationship, and she deserves every bit of happiness she has (it hasn't come easy).  But I want some of that. 

And then I was amused.  It's kind of unlike her to post something like that.  Lots of my friends are mushy about their significant others on facebook, but she's not usually one of them.  It caught me by surprise. I giggled.

When those emotions had passed, I realized she wasn't telling me something I didn't already know. Ask any of my high school or college friends -- I have always had a bit of a weakness for younger men.  And that's putting it mildly.  I sometimes joke that my college degree says I majored in "mass communication," but in reality, it should probably read "bulls**t and freshman boys." I was the master of pulling off a last minute paper or article, and the majority of my college crushes (and there were plenty of them) were freshmen.

I'm not sure what was (and still is?) appealing about younger men. I've always sort of thought it had something to do with my lack of experience in relationships.  I guess I figure if they're younger than I am, they might be closer to the same level of experience.  Although if I want to truly find someone on the same plane as I am, I would end up in jail because there are teenagers with more romantic history than I have.  Sad but true. 

I've often joked that I'm never getting married. Instead, I'm going to go through my career and save enough money so I can retire somewhere with minor league or independent league baseball. Then I'll be like Annie in "Bull Durham."  Sort of.  I probably wouldn't offer all the "services" she does, but I think I would definitely enjoy the company of young ballplayer.

So I guess that means I'm a cougar in training?  I doubt it.  I felt like a pedo crushing on Matt Saracen in "Friday Night Lights" (even though I know Zach Gilford, the actor who plays him, is of legal age).  Besides, people throw out that "cougar" term like it's a bad thing, but I don't think it has to be.  What's wrong with an older woman and a younger man being together?  Demi and Ashton have shown it works quite well.  I don't hear people making (as many) cracks about Hugh Hefner (84) and his newest bride (24).

Seriously though, I'm all for loving whoever you love, whether that person is older, younger, opposite sex, same sex, different religion, etc.  We don't get to choose who we fall for. If it were that easy, there wouldn't be so many broken hearts (and subsequently not as many great songs).  It would also eliminate the surprise in life that I think comes with finding love.  Obviously, I don't have first-hand experience in this, but many of the love stories I've witnessed have happened completely when the two people least expected it.  The cynic in me rolls her eyes, but the romantic in me (she's still there somewhere!) swoons.

All that said, I'm glad my friend is so "absurd"ly in love with her younger man. We should all get to feel that way someday.

Here comes the bridesmaid

Last Thursday morning, my best friend, Bruna texted me.  This is not out of the ordinary.  Our friendship has almost always been long distance, so e-mails, IMs, texts and facebook messages have been our source of communication.  This conversation, however, was one I'll never forget.

Her: Are you near a computer? I need you to look something up for me.

Me:  Not yet. Give me about 20. ((I was out delivering newspapers to the schools as I do on Thursdays.))

Finally...in the promised time, I texted her back.

Me:  Ok. I'm back in my office. What's up?

Her:  Go to www.foreverbridals.com and search for style 76216.

((pause....long pause...my work computer wouldn't cooperate, so I had to find another machine to use))

Me:  Ok. I'm there. It's pretty.

Her:  Will you wear that dress and be a bridesmaid in my wedding?

My face split into a huge grin.  Naturally, I agreed and conveyed my excitement as best I could via text.  She filled me in on what color the dress and ribbon would be and that she needed my measurements by May 1. (Goodbye pizza. Goodbye oreos.  Goodbye fast food.)

I cannot wait. I have never been in a wedding, and while there's a lot of physical distance between us, I consider Bruna to be one of my closest friends. I'm so honored to be a part of her big day.

Bruna and I have been friends for 12 years, and we have a bond so tight we refer to each other as "Sis."  Believe it or not, we met online, in one of the old IRC chatrooms, where the screen looked like this. 

Ancient, right? 

We would chat for hours on IRC and then on ICQ and eventually MSN Messenger.  Sometimes, we even gave up sleep so we could talk and dream together. We used to talk a lot about our future weddings, and including each other in the wedding party was a given.  Of course, back then, we were going to marry our respective favorite member of N Sync, and we were going to live in the same neighborhood so we could hang out and our numerous children could play together while our husbands went on tour.



Bruna and I took a spontaneous roadtrip to Louisiana in the summer of 2003 to see her love, Justin Timberlake.


Things have changed since then. N Sync hasn't toured in almost a decade.  Lance is gay (destroying my dreams of marrying him). ICQ is long gone and Facebook has been born.  Even my friendship with Bruna has changed a little ... but it hasn't broken. We still have a great deal of love and care for each other, but we've had to grow up.  We each have full-time jobs and responsibilities which make it impossible to spend all evening and night chatting (although I really miss those chats and the carefree days that accompanied them).  We don't talk as often as either of us would like to, and we live much further apart. So we're still best friends, but it's a different kind of best friends.

She's been engaged for several months, and since she didn't immediately ask me to be in her wedding I assumed she'd chosen other people to stand beside her.  And I was ok with that.  Truly. I haven't even met her fiance yet (hoping to remedy that in May), and I wouldn't blame her for wanting bridesmaids who were closer by to help her with the little details.  So I was thrilled to be asked.  I cannot wait to put on the pretty dress she picked out and support her as she marries the love of her life  --- and, even though I haven't met Shay yet, trust me, he is.  I mean, he's unseated Justin Timberlake as number one in her heart.  That's not an easy feat, folks.  I just know Shay must be amazing. 

This will be the first time I've ever been in a wedding. I've never been to a bachelorette party either, but maybe, just maybe, I'll get to cross that off my list sometime this year too.  Should be a fun ride!

Music Monday: "Glee" covers Lennon's "Imagine"

I know a lot of my friends don't like "Glee," but this performance gives me chills everytime.  What a fitting song for this show, which has shed light on the various stereotypes and related hatred we have in our society. It's really a shame we can't just let people be who they are without judging or questioning them.  Anyhow, I thought this song was appropriate for today.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

Note:  I'm revamping and reintroducing this post (which was formerly on my private, for VIPs only blog) after a conversation I had with a friend last night.  Enjoy!

I have accepted the fact that I am not a "love at first sight" or even "lust at first sight" girl. I'm actually happy that I'm more of a "to know her is to love her" girl. The qualities I have to offer someone may not be readily apparent, but they are much longer lasting. That said, niceness and a love of sports don't exactly bring all the boys to the yard (and neither does my milkshake). A guy doesn't see me in the bar and think, "Wow, I would love to watch her score a baseball game." That just doesn't happen. I don't honestly know what guys think when they see me in the bar (which is rare anyway), but I know they definitely don't approach me. Or at least, they rarely do.

When I was in college, there was one guy who approached me repeatedly in bars and other events on campus. He was a decent-looking guy, even if he was barely my height and defintely weighed less than I did. (I eventually found out he was an All American wrestler in one of the lower weight classes.) If his advances had seemed sincere, I might have gone on a date with him, but over the course of four years, this guy only approached me when he was completely wasted. In fact, when I had to interview him for a newspaper article (and I'm assuming he was sober because it was 10 a.m.), he couldn't get away from me quickly enough.

Earlier this year, a similar event happened. I was sitting in Legends, enjoying a post-concert drink with a friend and two guys wandered in. One seemed more sober than the other, who within seconds was asking me for a kiss on the cheek. He might have been cute if he'd been able to stand up. And I might have given him my number if he'd asked for it before he crossed my personal space boundaries.
Sorry if that makes me a bitch. I like the dark-eyed boy next door, not the half-closed-eyed boy with the beer stains down the front of his shirt. And I like a guy with quiet confidence, not the guy climbing into my lap or molesting me on the dance floor.

So what is it about me that only attracts the drunk guys? Ironically, during most of these events, I have been completely sober, which only made the guys more annoying. Some of my friends have insisted it's probably just a lowering of inhibitions. I'd like to think that, but I'm not completely convinced it's not a lowering of standards. Maybe guys only find me attractive when they're viewing me through beer goggles. If that's true, I suppose I need to go with it. Except I'll find the one guy I want, get him drunk and then use it to my advantage. I'll let you know how that works out.

Saturday's Snapshot: Snow Business

Maybe I should just start calling this the Sunday snapshot if I'm going to be consistently late in posting this.  We'll see.  I kind of cheated anyway.  This photo was actually taken very early Tuesday morning while I was riding around with the city street crew as they cleared the city's thoroughfares of snow.

Friday Fiver: Go-to movies

Winter is such a dull time. I don't make big plans (because I can't count on them happening), so I spend a lot of nights home in front of my computer and TV.  Then again, that's not much different from any other time of the year.  What can I say? I'm a housecat. I love being home.

Anyhow. I own a lot of movies.  My parents would probably say I own too many.  They might be right, but oh well.  I love my movies.  I'm also a Netflix subscriber, but I've mostly been using that for TV series lately.  I quickly run out of new movies I want to see. That's funny in a way, because in my collection there are staples that I turn to anytime I'm bored and just need something to entertain me for a few hours.  Here are five of them.

"Good Will Hunting"

This is, and will probably always be, my favorite movie of all time.  Jamie (my best friend from high school) and I saw it in the theaters seven times together during our senior year.  Thus, the movie always reminds me of that carefree time and some of the memories we shared. And it's Matt Damon.  With a heavy Boston accent.  Yum.

Favorite quote:  "Men are shameless. If you're not thinking with your wiener, then you're acting directly on its behalf."

"How To Deal"

Mandy Moore is one of my girl crushes, and I absolutely love this movie.  I don't know why I like it so much either. Trent Ford is pretty yummy, but he's not the best piece of eye candy.  And the end is so predictable.  But still.  I adore it. 

Favorite quote: "The quickest way to ruin a relationship with someone is to actually try to have a relationship with them."

"Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist"

Kat Dennings + Michael Cera = love.  I watch this movie at least once a month.  It makes me want to chase a band around New York City and kiss a boy on the escalator.  Mmmm.

Favorite quote: "Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? 'I Want to Hold Your Hand.' The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand."

"A League of Their Own"

It may not be my favorite baseball movie, but it's definitely up there.  So much goodness.  First of all, there are some timeless quotes.  I don't have to name them.  You know them.  You've said them.  And, by the way, there IS crying in baseball. 

Favorite quote: "Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls... be plentiful..."

"Dirty Dancing"

This has been a favorite for so long.  The soundtrack is amazing, the dancing is so fun to watch and, again, it's super quoteable.  "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."  *sigh*  Long live the appeal of Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey!!

Favorite quote: "I carried a watermelon. I carried a watermelon?"

Music Monday: Matt Fisher - "Rain"

I first heard this voice about five years ago during a singer/songwriter contest at a bar in Ennis.  My ears fell in love immediately.  He's a great musician, and I was beyond giddy to discover his youtube videos about a week ago.  Enjoy!  And if you live in Texas and they have a show near you, please go for me.  :)

Saturday's Snapshot: Atmosphere

I apologize for the tardiness of this entry.  I was away from my computer and out of town, but that's where I got this shot, so it's worth it, right?  I spent Saturday evening and Sunday morning in the Twin Cities with two of my college roommates and some of their friends. We were celebrating Kathleen's birthday, which included dinner at Wasabi (so yummy!) and drinks and singing at Nye's Polonaise. The atmosphere at the latter place was just incredible.  Gorgeous glittery booths, a lady playing showtunes and old standards on the piano (with random guest singers), a photo booth and a polka band next door.  Our waitress was fantastic, and I also really loved all the lighting fixtures.  It had a very laid back vibe, which was perfect for our Saturday night out.

Friday Fiver: Baseball Crushes

Pitchers and catchers report in 40 days.  Opening Day (which will become my favorite holiday once they put it on calendars and everything closes down) is less than three months away.  While the Rangers' offseason moves have underwhelmed me (I really wanted Cliff Lee and Matt Garza, but I guess Brandon Webb and Adrian Beltre will have to do), I am more than ready for my favorite boys of summer to return to my life. 

As a female baseball fan, I walk a very fine line between fan and fangirl.  I try very hard not to fall into the latter category too often.  I love the game --- the close calls, the rookie debuts, the surprises (a no-no, perfect game or Bengie Molina triple), the heartbreak, the joy, etc. --- but I can't deny the bonus that is the eye candy on the field.  I have tried, trust me.  But there are just some baseball players that make it impossible for me to forget I'm a woman (who loves baseball). 

Here are my five biggest baseball crushes ...

Laynce Nix

He's at the top of the list because he was my very first baseball crush.  In 2005, when I was a regular at the Ballpark in Arlington, I was known by the announcers and ushers as "I Need a Nix Fix."  It's ok to laugh at me.  I laugh at me even now.  And I laughed at me then too.  It was just a fun ploy to get attention, and my friend ("Dellucci's Darlin'") and I certainly got a lot of attention.  We sent baked goods to the broadcast booth and even to the clubhouse, hung our signs and cheered loudly from our favorite seats in left field (behind David Dellucci, most of the time).  I received a few e-mails from Laynce during the winter between the 2005 and 2006 seasons.  I finally got to meet him in Oklahoma City that June, right before I moved back to Iowa.  He spotted me in the stands in Des Moines a month later when I went to a game for my birthday.  He was stunned, but he was so happy to see me, he brought me a game ball from the dugout after the game and wished me a "happy birthday." I still have the ball, and, even better, I have lots of memories. Laynce has not been a Ranger for several seasons.  He's with the Reds right now (which is why he's pictured in a Reds uni above), although there are rumors he'll be changing uniforms again.  No matter where he is, I will always cheer for him.

Chris Davis

I fell for Chris Davis the first time I saw him.  I fell deeper the first time I saw him do his infamous "splits" at first base.  He has the most perfect mouth ever (when he doesn't have a wad of tobacco in it), and his smile is pretty amazing too.  I just really can't say anything bad about Chris.  Except for the times he's broken my heart ... in the batter's box and along the first base dugout.  Chris has spent plenty of time in AAA , which is how I've gotten closest to him.  But he has yet to acknowledge me.  I've asked him to stop for an autograph/photo several times over the last few years, but much like most other guys who catch my eye, he ignores me.  I know other fans have had better experiences with him, which means he's not a jerk ... he just doesn't want anything to do with me.  And I suppose I'll live with that.  I don't know how much longer Chris will be in the Rangers organization, but he's another guy I'll always root for a little bit.

Casey Benjamin

I don't have nearly as much to say about Casey as I have said about Laynce and Chris.  The reason?  I just haven't had as much time to observe him.  I enjoyed watching him for two seasons with the Oklahoma City Redhawks (the former AAA affiliate for the Rangers), but I have no idea where he is now.  I think he's playing independent league baseball somewhere.  So I guess there's still a chance I'll see him again someday, although I think that chance is pretty slim.

Joe Mauer

The only way he could be hotter is if he was wearing a Rangers uniform.  A girl can dream, right?

David Wright

His smile is just incredible.  It doesn't show in this photo, but it's worth a google search. Trust me.

Don't get me wrong. I love all my Rangers.  I just don't swoon over all of them.  Which is probably a good thing.  I might have trouble focusing on the games if they all got my heart racing.

Alright, ladies, who did I miss?

P.S.  Don't ever let me say I don't have a "type."  Good grief.

The secret is ... red velvet?

I know I'm not the only one who indulged over the holidays.  New Year's weekend was the worst.  I made a batch of red velvet cupcakes -- using my brand new cupcake pans (thanks Mom and Dad!) -- and proceeded to eat them over the course of the weekend. By myself.  They're basically the only thing I ate ... well, along with oatmeal for breakfast and taco soup for all my lunches and dinners. 

Needless to say, I dreaded getting on the scale when I got to Curves yesterday.  To my surprise, the number was five pounds lighter than I expected and three pounds lighter than a week ago. Before all the red velvet cupcakes.

What is that all about? 

Actually, I'm more convinced than ever that weight loss is linked to emotions and stress.  For most of the time I was eating all these cupcakes, I was completely carefree and happy.  A similar thing happened to me last spring.  I went to visit a friend for a long weekend.  While I was there, I was less careful about what I was eating.  I enjoyed french pastries, enchiladas and beignets. And I didn't workout the whole time I was there.  But when I got home, I'd lost four pounds. Amazing.

I don't think I could continue that and reach my weight-loss goals, but I will definitely be doing what I can to keep myself stress-free and happy as I work toward them.  That means no beating myself up when I've had a bad week, and no worrying about things (and people) I can't change. 

The "F" word

No, not the one with four letters.  I've made a concerted effort not to swear in ths blog.

Not "feminism" either, although a lot of people think that's a dirty word.  (I don't, for the record.)

I'm referring to "fat." It's a powerful word that's thrown around, particularly in today's society.  It's particularly popular in the anonymous world of the internet.  When someone doesn't like something a female does, it's common for them to sling this word at her. 

It happened to a female blogger I know earlier this week. I don't understand what "fat" had to do with what she wrote. I guess the commenter just couldn't come up with something original, so he (I'm assuming it's a he) resorted to this.

But I still don't understand it.  If you don't like what someone has to say, just stop reading.  Surf to another blog or site, or simply close the window. I've done it. Trust me, it's really simple.  And a lot less exhausting than thinking of a way to insult someone.

I know how my friend is feeling after reading this comment.  She might laugh it off, but on some level, it affects her.

I know from firsthand experience. It happened to me when I was a senior in college. I wrote a column that offended some men. They decided to share it in -- of all places -- an online soccer forum.  The resulting comments were not about what I had written, but instead about the picture of me that sat atop the words.  "Fat" and "ugly" were used a lot.  And although these people didn't know me (and I didn't know them), the words cut me to the core.  Obviously.  It's been almost a decade and I remember them even though the forum is long gone.

I hate that I remember it.  I hate that it affected me so much.  Most of all though, I hate that people are that cruel to each other.

Music Monday: Melissa Polinar - "Never Change"

Love this girl's voice.  I would pay money to sound like that.  Her latest EP is fantastic.  Go get it.

A kiss is NOT just a kiss

An icy New Year's Eve found me parked on my couch in front of my TV and computer.  I celebrated the evening with my Twitter family, and naturally the topic turned to kissing.  That makes sense since New Year's Eve is all about kissing.  Well, it's about drinking, saying "goodbye" to the old and "hello" to the new, but it's also a lot about kissing and whose lips are going to touch yours at midnight.

I confessed to my Twitter family that I've never had a New Year's Eve kiss.  And then expanded that to tell them I've never really been kissed at all. Sorry, Drunk Matt and Even Drunker Random Irish Guy, you do not count. I couldn't even feel my face at that point, and I doubt you were feeling much either.  So, no, those two instances, which happened under the influence of alcohol and my best friend (love you!), do not qualify as kisses. At all.

I'll wait while you judge me. 

Done yet?

Probably not, but I have more to say.

I know it's weird.  I'm 30, and I've never been kissed. Drew Barrymore was in a movie about this. Except she was only 25, and Michael Vartan took care of that on a pitcher's mound by the end of the movie.  Do you think he'd reprise that role for me?  Oh, who am I kidding, I don't really want Michael Vartan to be my first kiss, yummy as he may be.  Maybe Jake Gyllenhaal. Or Zach Gilford.  I'd have to think about it. It's been a long time since I had a "first kiss wishlist."  Lance Bass was on it, if that's any indication of how long it's been.  That was when I still thought my first kiss was in my immediate future (and, at that time, I didn't know Lance preferred kissing men).

I don't exactly know why it didn't happen back then, but I suspect it's probably the same reason it hasn't happened yet. Let's be honest. I could have kissed dozens of guys by now.  Bars are full of guys looking for an easy lay. I could surely swing a smooch out of that.  At the very least. The problem is this --- I'm opposed to the moment being meaningless. I actually subscribe to that famous monologue from the aforementioned movie, "Never Been Kissed":

"That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time."

So now you must think I'm really lame. Not only am I kiss-less at 30, but I honestly believe a kiss should mean something. It's not a game or a sport to me, but something very meaningful. Regardless of what you want to call me or say about me, I'm not going to waiver.  I'm not going to kiss someone just for the sake of kissing them.

Unless it's Jake ...

...or Zach. 

If anyone can hook that up ... 

But in all seriousness, I'd rather wait for someone special.

And I don't care what kind of person that makes me in your book.

I know I won't regret it.

New things in a new year

I stopped doing the New Year's resolution thing a few years ago.  I rarely (read: never) followed through, and then I'd just get mad at myself when I got to the end of the year and hadn't lost the weight, stopped drinking pop or been nice to everyone.  And who needs guilt on top of all that.

Now, each year I decide I'm going to try something new in the year ahead.  In 2010, I tried sushi (loved it!) and running (loved it!).  Sure, those aren't crazy new things, but they were new to me.  It's all about stepping out of your comfort zone.

I did a lot of thinking yesterday about what I want to try new in 2011.  I came up with three things:

1. Sing karaoke with the Brice girls
Everytime I go somewhere with them for karaoke, they ask me to join in.  I have declined everytime so far. Yet I've sung karoke with other friends. So it's not really karaoke that intimidates me, it's that Julie and Kathleen are such good singers, I'm afraid of how awful I sound.  But it's time for me to realize that they are not the kind of friends who will judge me.  I've known them for 12 years and they haven't yet.  I just need to do it.  They'll probably never ask me again after I do. Ha ha.

2. Yoga
A lot of my friends do this and really seem to enjoy it. I think it'd be a great thing for fitness and relaxation. I even have a DVD on yoga, but I have yet to put it in the player. It's time to try it.

3.  Buy a drink for a cute guy
You don't know how many times I've been out, seen a guy I was interested in and had no idea how to approach him.  Alright, so most of the time, this is at my brother's bar, so the awkward quotient is raised.  But still.  I'm 30.  And I'm assertive in so many other areas of my life. I need to expand it to my love life.  It may lead to nothing, but at least I will have done it.


Fear not, random readers, I will let you know when I do/try each of these things.  Your job is to hold me accountable.

Saturday's Snapshot: Snowmen

I love love love snowmen.  Probably because I can put them up in November and leave them up until March if I want to.  (The rest of the Christmas decorations are down already.)  I got this set during a recent gift exchange, and it could not have been a more perfect gift for me.  One problem ... do you notice there's one missing?  Yeah.  The "speak no evil" snowman is nowhere to be found.  I even went to the store where the person got these, and he's not there.  Needless to say, I will be looking for him for the forseeable future.  Oh well, better to be on a quest for a snowman than a real man, right?